Cindy Street

God is alive

2011-11-17T22:19:00.000-06:00

God is alive.

What happens when we forget this?

Our lives reflect it. ..... If we forget this, we might stop meeting with Jesus, we forget to pray or listen to God and we stop expecting God to meet us. And the downward spiral continues to decend from there.

I was at Church planting congress for the last 3 days, from all the worskshops, plenary speakers and conversations with fellow sojourners I came away with something simple yet powerful.

We have to live the reality that God is really alive.
Do I live like God is alive?

Do you know God is living?
What happens in your life when you live the reality?

God is alive!

Re:Call Day 1

2011-11-15T22:50:00.001-06:00

Re:Call
Day 1
Church Planting Congress 2011
Skye Jethani
-We grow spiritually when we are uncomfortable.
- Fear cripples imagination.
- Jesus, simply Jesus. Spend some time with him so your eyes can be opened to see the world the way he does. Without controlling fear.

Keep the Sabbath

2011-10-28T22:28:00.002-05:00

Ahhhh... Sundays. I look forward to Sunday's. In the morning I go to church to see my friends and fellow church goers, to worship God with my family, to hear my husband preach and to see the youth in my Sunday school department. I love it. I love Sunday afternoon's too because I can take a nap and rest(without guilt of being lazy) and do something different than all other days in the week. Sundays just seem so perfect to be restful on. It's my rest day, my sabbath day.

Last Sunday I decided not to take a rest, I felt the work load for the week was big and I had high expectations for us to get this renovation done, we're so close to being done. After church I worked on house work and renovations. I cleaned and sorted all afternoon and I paid for it in exhaustion all week. Ya it was busy, that's why I should have rested. I think I see why God designed a rest day for us, we need it. Ben and I both got worn out and overwhelmed.

Lesson learned - Take a sabbath day and rest on it.

The secret to contentment

2011-10-22T18:21:00.000-05:00

I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phil 4:12-13

Meditating on this verse

-fed and plenty are about life when all is good, it's not just about enough food and material items. It's about the people surrounding you that love you and the energy, emotions and confidence to do may things.

- need, hungry and want are not just about the lack of food and items. This is about all the holes and valleys in life, the loss of loved ones, the energy drain of illness or age, the lemons of life.

No matter what the situation is, the secret code to access contentment is found only in acknowledging that God gives the strength for any and all of life. When we forget that, we look inward and find we are weak and focus on what we can't do. Look at God and see his strength and you will be content, you'll be capable of things you never thought you could do.

That's what I'm learning.

Old?

2011-10-16T07:03:00.001-05:00

What happens when you get old?
Do you feel it?
Do you feel it the moment it happens?
Is there a moment when you say "a minute ago I was young and now, in this minute I am old?"
When does it happen?

I was wounded in my confidence a few years ago and I did not recover quickly. I felt hurt and defeated and it lived as an under current in my life for a long time, even into today. It's really why I stopped blogging weekly so long ago. I doubted my place in the blogging world. As a kid I would have been over it the next day, as an adult I was set back. I'm disappointed that I was so affected I wanted to let it roll off more easily I wanted to not care. But I did. Maybe it's big people big problems or maybe - I got old.

Is old inevitable?
Is old a date in the future ... or in the past.
Some might say it's a process.
Be careful --- Don't confuse old with age
Age is the inevitable second by second journey we all live
Old is a choice maybe?

When I look back over the last few years I see I acted old in the whole deal, I did not choose to be like a child. I can blog when I feel free like a child, I can't blog when I feel old. Young is willing to be vulnerable and take risks, old is fearful and concerned about the can'ts and the worry that respectable people don't let others know too much about what's going on inside and certainly do not air their dirty laundry.Old is a thing that happens when young is no longer practiced.I don't want to be old.

FINE THEN

2011-10-13T21:49:00.003-05:00

What is up with you people? -Begging me to blog..... I think you like me better than I like myself....... it's been sooo long, you think I still have stuff left to say? ..... I think you beleive in me more than I beleive in myself. What would I say if I started to blog again and where would I get the time? (Are these pathetic excuses or what.).... It's been so long(did I say that already), I sold packaged of my day to other activities by now and I am no longer the loaf-around-the-house-girl who once had time to blog weekly ......really that was me? I had time for that?..... I made time for it....I enjoyed writting. I could do it again ...I want to.... I want to want to. Could I really do it? ...hmmm .. It inspires me that you like me and that you want me to write. It makes me think I can do it again....I can make time again to do it.
Thanks for the confidence. Thanks for the kick in the pants.

The Best of all

2011-02-25T19:43:00.004-06:00

Well I think it was more difficult for people to choose this year because there were more votes all over the place but the one that had the most votes was not a surprise to me..... July - A little bit of heaven down here
The picture is taken on the top of my parents property, the top of their mountain, it has such an amazing view, as you can see from the picture. I remember standing, looking out over this view, seeing, no city, no people, no pollution, no rush, just peace and stillness, it was all in comparison to the city Yangon we had just been in.

Best of 2010 Photos

2011-02-08T20:23:00.001-06:00

The days have slipped by and life is moving through 2011 at a rapid pace. I have had the best of 2010 photo post on my mind for more than a month now and tonight it has been accomplished! Yeah! My part is done, now your part begins. If you like the fun, vote for your favorite photo of 2010. I put more photos in this year... I had a hard time deciding. I hope you enjoy ....
January - New Years resolution - Learning to fly!

March - Escape to a space that's all your own.

April(1) - Go fly a Kite!

April(2) - Ariel got fabric, an idea and sewing lessons from Mom for her birthday... she loved it.

May - Stop to smell the flowers.

June(1) - The way to be happy is to make someone happy.

June(2) - Sun and sand in Thailand

July(1) - Cookin' with grampa.

July(2) - A dollar a row.

July (3) - A little heaven down here.

August - YEEEHAA! Cowgirls have birthdays too ya know.

September - Pembina hills plus paint equals inspiration

October - Pippi and Mr. Nilsson

November - Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination

December - Patience is the key.

Vote by commenting below.

Pictures from Mae La

2010-08-20T09:40:00.001-05:00

More pictures to go with the refugee camp post.
Chapel time at the Bible School. Singing of course.

The children in the orphanage Painting.

The Children singing.

We were there on ration day, which means that UN trucks bring in their needed food and supplies. This truck load was coal for cooking.

The view from our hut looking out. A few steps down and then it goes up the hill.

Our hut at at the refugee camp.The mountains one has to cross to get back to Burma.

A-day-in-a-refugee-camp-for-the-Klassen-family-from-Cindy's-perspective

2010-08-18T17:40:00.002-05:00

Sorry to those that are getting impatient for more pictures and stories from our Asia trip - I have a few more I want to share, I just have to take the time to write them and post them. I have many things I have enjoyed doing now that I am home; visiting with friends, surfing the Internet, cooking, baking, painting with the girls, letting them have friends over, swimming lessons.... But now have a story a rewrite from my journal, I am going to write
A-day-in-a-refugee-camp-for-the-Klassen-family-from-Cindy's-perspective

- Woke up to the sound of singing -5:30 I think
- I check that my mosquito net has stayed tucked in - yes it has
- I see Joelle is awake too
- There is someone talking below us, they are getting ready to go out in their truck
- Joelle and I have to go to the washroom ( it is to the left and down a few stairs)
- We remember to grab a fist full of tp on the way down. No toilet paper in the bathrooms plus you can't flush the toilet paper, so we have to carry it to the garbage can. (Now that is gross!)
- I think of how happy I am to have sitting toilets instead of the usual squat toilets you see in Asia, a real luxury in a refugee camp I am sure.
- We get back to out beds, tuck in our nets and hope to sleep a little more
- I listen to the Bible on my Ipod. Revelations and Psalms.
-About 6:30 we are all up and milling around the hut. Most of the time we spend gazing down out of our hut at the activity happening below
- I make the beds and fold the nets up for the day.
- The students from the Bible school that bring us our meal see that we are awake so they bring us a noodle dish for breakfast.
- We try to eat the noodle breakfast but it's just not normal to us.
- We force Joelle to eat 5 more noodles
- 7:30( maybe) we see a group of boys below spinning their tops on the ground so we watch them
- We get out some foam/plastic toy airplanes that we brought along and we sling them out the window in their direction. They seem pleased and shoot them back at us. The planes go up and down, up and down and then get stuck in the trees but the boys get them out no problem.
- Dr. Simon( who we have been waiting for, for 2 days) came out of the Bible school building and called us over to visit.
- He asks Ben to share in Chapel tomorrow, and possibly share in a class or two today
- At 8:30 we go to chapel, upon arrival we are taken to sit on the stage facing the students beside those leading and preaching in the chapel.
- A dog that looks a lot like Zeke's-Miniature-refugee-self with a tail walks in and meandered though the people. No one seemed to notice him, except for me of course.
- A Karen man preaches for 30-40 minutes
- The girls sat pretty good. I kept thinking of how amazing our girls really are for being displayed like this, they only need a few reminders to sit decently and not pick on themselves(something they seem to do a lot these days when bored) they are such great girls.
- At the end of the chapel Ben introduces us.
- Dr Simon has changed his mind he has now asked Ben to teach all day.
- I got hooked up with a computer -yeah!
- I use the Internet to send a few emails - good but frustrating on a mac
- The girls do origami and Ben prepares for the day of teaching
- A large bug has been found on the stairs going down to the bathroom. Ariel saw it first and came calmly saying to was a tarantula, Ben went to look, he then called me over for an opinion on it's identity. I looked at it and said "it's probably a large cockroach." but in my mind I though spider for sure. We sprayed the uncertain bug with raid to be sure it was dead.
- Someone came to get Ben and he went down the hill to teach
- It is hot enough to take a cold bucket shower. The water sometimes runs out early in the afternoon, if it doesn't rain, so it is a good time to go anyway. I go down the stairs (past the dead ???) to the shower room that is just for us to use. I spray the room with raid first so the mosquitoes won't bite me. My neck tenses up from the first dump of water but after a few more buckets I can easily relax. To be clean and cool feels nice.
-On the way back up I identify that the dead insect is in fact a large spider -probably a tarantula
- (about 10 am) I wash all our dirty cloths by hand in the sink and hang them out to dry on the clothes line we have brought along
- I take a picture of Ben teaching.

- About noon Ben returns from his class and lays down for a nap while we wait for lunch to arrive
- The girls are still doing origami and creating toys with sticks and duct tape

- Waiting....hungry.
- (12:30 about) lunch has arrived, it is a large spread, again, of spicy meat and bean sauces, and Ariel's favorite soup that she likes to mix with her rice.
- As we finish lunch a young man showed up at our door. We invite him in. We talk about life here for him - he is in his 4th year at the bible school and he plans to help the people along the border regions when he graduates. He has lived here without his parents since he was 12. He tells us about how he became a christian here at the camp and wants to go back to Burma to tell his Buddhist family about Jesus.
- at about 1:00 another student shows up to get Ben for teaching again, he also invites me.
- I go for a while to watch Ben, of course he is doing a great job.
- Ariel came to get me, a woman has arrived at our hut and wants to take their picture. I walk back to the hut and the woman is talking to the girls in Karen, smiling at them and patting and stroking them. We find out her name is Mumu, she is 66 and has 8 children. She give the girls some home made rice crackers and I take the picture she requested. The girls graciously eat the crackers. She kisses the girls and hugs them and then says a blessing over them. She was so cute -old lady cute. The girls can't wait to tell Ben about Mumu.
- Some time in the afternoon I return to Ben's class, while I am there I ask the students questions about their future plans. They all plan on ministry but they say it is all what the Lord wills. One that stood out to me was "I want to be world leader in Peace."
- I left the class and found some boys playing Chinlo below our hut, something I had wanted to learn ever since I heard about the game. Ariel comes down and we learn Chinlo together. Other children joined in, though we can't speak the same language, we understand each other. I could see that they were thrilled to teach us. (Its got some similarities to hackysack)
- Ariel's turn for a cold bucket shower, she won't go in without me.
- It is so hot today, I wish it would rain and cool this place.
- A lady named Esther comes to visit. We talk for while about her 3 older sons, her past and present life. It is interesting and moving.
- Our friend Winner walks by the hut and I borrow his phone to make some calls to make arrangements to leave the camp tomorrow.
- Ben comes back at about 4 o'clock so we decided to go to the orphan home with our paint supplies and balloons
- I was sure I knew the way to the orphan home from when we went last time
- We get lost.
- Amazingly(God's leading I am sure) we happen across our new friend Winner, who showed us the correct way to go
- At the home Ben makes balloon animals and I give the children the art supplies and start them painting. The kids were reserved and shy to begin with but they don't take long and they open up with smiles and interact with us.
- Before we leave we pray with the children and for their future.
- We arrive back at our hut and supper has already been set on the table with a big net over it to protect it from the bugs. Among the food there are some strange things this time, a small oval shaped veggie, with a hard shell and seeds inside - tastes awful! ( I spat it out) There is also an unidentifiable meat ..hhhmmm? ... but it tastes good.
- The water has run out by now but there is enough in the large tub we filled for Joelle and Seraya to shower.
- A lady who works at the bible school stops by for a visit.
- Not sure what time it is but by now the sun has gone down and it is dark out.
- Ben reads to the kids while I do some writing.
- We keep the light on only until the gathering bugs drive us crazy.
- I put the nets down and spray inside them in case something has found it's way in throughout the day.
- It is time to sleep, we all climb into our own beds with nets and tuck them in under our mattress'. Ben sleeps closest to the door and I sleep on the other side of the girls. Normally I enjoy this time of day- time to sleep but I can't say I enjoy it here in the Jungle, sleeping this far away form Ben on a hard mattress and pillow. I hope sleep comes quick.
- End of a day in a refugee camp bible school with the Karen in Thailand

*the next morning when we woke-up the "thought to be dead unofficially identified spider" was mysteriously gone*

Journal entry ---June 15

2010-08-05T08:21:00.004-05:00

Journal entry June 15

Ariel felt sick last night, we prayed for God to heal her, and he did. By the time we needed to leave for the children's home she was feeling a lot better, good enough that we felt we could continue with the day. Praise God. We went to a market on the way. The amount of things to buy was overwhelming, and we were harassed to buy many things and some we bought - 2 fans and collection of note cards, 3 dresses and some shoes.( of course we had to get shoes) Then we went for lunch to an Indian restaurant, we had to spoon feed the girls so they'd actually eat. Ben and I loved the food. After "full" bellies we drove a long way to get to the children's home. As we drove the city turned into villages, and then to farm land between villages, with a little jungle here and there as well. Rice fields went by, lots of dogs(108 according to the girls count), goats and shacks selling everything from crackers to clay pots. Lots of jeeps stacked with people or bamboo or bags of rice passing by. We drove on and on. Joelle and Seraya chatted the whole way. Ariel slept. We drove and drove some more. My sense of time was way off and I thought we had been driving way too long I was sure we were lost. Though I was kept entertained by the people I saw and the new environment plus the girls did so great with the long hot drive.(very hot and humid) They(the girls) didn't complain at all. Maybe the fact that they didn't have to wear seat belts helped them enjoy the ride. Soon Ton, our driver, slowed down, he drove more unsure of where he was going. Eventually he stopped to ask for directions(something I thought he was never going to do, and should have done an hour ago). We had driven too far. So we went back quite a way and after a few more wrong turns we made it to the road we needed to take to get to the home. By now it was pouring rain(as it usually did in the afternoon there) and the children were all coming home from school. We could see some waving at us from their "school bus" I was sure it was the kids from the home. So here we were stopped at this road, honestly I thought "if we go down that road we'll get stuck for sure". The driver was unsure too it took him a long time to decide to drive down that road. He drove cautiously, it was full of water filled potholes and was very rocky, almost like a river bed. he stopped to ask for more directions and the rain was still pouring down...... (not going into detail but I really had to go to the the bathroom right about here :$, Ben and the kids had a good howl at my expense) ..... Our driver found the place. We walked down a muddy path to the home. It was so beautiful and the kids were very excited to see us. We met them all (8) and tried to remember their names. We sang songs for them and they sang for us. We played games and talked about what they like. Then we did puzzles and drawing in their sketchbooks that we brought for them. At the end we prayed and it was time for us to go. Our driver was waiting for us by the main road so we walked out to meet him. It was very crazy driving home as it got dark, we won't do that again. Praise God we made it home alive.

For the protection of the children we are not posting pictures of their faces on the internet so the few photos I show are either not showing their face or of random shots of people and places along the way. If you want to see some great photos of the kids I can email you(in which case you'll have to send me a message) or you will have a chance to see some in church.

Eating Indian food for lunch at the Nila Birani Shop

some houses along the way

The muddy road just before we got to the home

Puzzling with the children

The Buddist Temple

2010-08-04T09:15:00.005-05:00

On the first day we were in Yangon we took a look around the city and we stopped at this Buddist temple. The Swedagon Pagoda, it is a very famous place in Burma. The pagoda is completely covered in Gold. it is a place of great respect so when i showed up in a sleeveless shirt I was given a shawl to borrow as I walked through the many shrines. Also everyone has to take their shoes off at the entrance.

An interesting thing for a me as I saw buddism in action was how they care for the animals. They have many offering areas in the temple and even along any street in the city where people can offer food to animals and they come to eat. When I saw this offering bowl I thought how even when they don't know it they worship God by feeding his creation, but I wish they knew the one they worship.They also bring flowers to lay before their idolsAs we were leaving the pagoda it was raining really heavy and this little boy was taking a shower. I tried to talk to and befriend his mother who was sitting near by nursing her baby, but she was very shy of me and so were her other children. She appeared to be very poor.

Finally Home

2010-08-02T06:43:00.003-05:00

We are home -finally - after two months of being gone from our home. The regular things I always took for granted are special now, like I have my own washer and dryer, I can cook anything I want and go into my fridge and eat anything I wish, I feel so free. Isn't that funny how the most common things can be so special after traveling. This morning I was reflecting with God, on how he brought us on this adventure and has now brought us back home to these simple pleasures. All glory to God for all that has happened. Two months ago we left on an adventure, not knowing all the details or the lessons we'd learn, but trusting God would lead with his spirit in the plans we had made, and he was faithful. Today I thank God so much for all that he lead us to and I give him all the glory for our safe return and the adventure we had in the past two months. I stand amazed with God. Join me in this praise to God.

just to note - We just came out of 10 days in the mountains, which has very slow Internet so I could not add more stories of out time in Burma and Thailand. But they will come soon.

looking back - June 14

2010-07-16T13:32:00.009-05:00

Journal entry from June 14

What I see sitting here in front of our hotel - 3 Seasons Hotel Yangon
- a green iron fence and gate beyond the potted plants that give protective feeling and greenery in this concrete jungle.
- apartment buildings
- an Internet cafe on the lower floor
- a little boy playing naked on his balcony across the street 4 stories up
- mothers walking their children to school, they are under their umbrellas
- people walking by, many people
- the hotel manager welcomes someone at the gate
- Joelle and Seraya playing under their umbrellas
- a woman on the seventh floor of the apartment building across from me lowers something on a line to the street below. Looks like all the balconies have a string/rope to lower items to the street
- laundry hanging out to dry on many balconies
- 2 dogs fighting in the street
- taxis and vans and lorries and trucks and all kinds of compact vehicles pass by
- it has been one hour and no one has collected the item that the woman lowered
- a man on a trishaw passes by

One hotel butler with great service. They were all good but Ed like to make our life fun.

The grandmother of the hotel was thrilled with the girls but could only speak Burmese. Staying at the 3 seasons is staying as close to the people as you can, it's a small hotel, a family feel.

The front patio area was a nice place to relax and watch Myanmar go by.

Buddist monks walked by every morning, collecting their food offering for the day.

Our room had 4 beds and big bathroom, even enough room to hang a wash line. We stayed in this hotel for 2 weeks.

Ed, our hotel butler took the girls on a trishaw ride on a few special evenings.

Let the Pictures Begin

2010-07-13T11:04:00.002-05:00

We flew on this plane.We were this excited!
And this excited about the food.
But the kids of Burma are the best part.

Looking Back

2010-07-12T17:06:00.005-05:00

Hey a big hello and thanks to all of you who have been following along for the past month or so. Thanks for all the prayers you prayed and times you cried or celebrated with us as we experienced so many things. Now that I am back in Canada I want to back track a little and write some stories from my journal that I could not write while we were in Myanmar and Thailand, or didn't have time to write. I also hope the kids will let me write some things they wrote in their journals, as a way of sharing the trip from another point of view. I also hope to start putting up a few pictures, maybe video clips as well. So check back soon for journal entries and pictures.
This week we are with Ben's family in Langley while Ben does homework from his class he took before we left Altona.

Prayer requests
- That we would find a good video editing program for our video we captured and that as we prepare for sharing opportunities about our trip, that we would do so to the glory of God.
- Ben be efficient with his time for Homework, and that he can actually do it, without getting too distracted by the rest of us having fun:)

Answers to Prayer
- Ben is feeling well
- we all adjusted back to Canada time

How I'm feeling
- Happy for the kids to play with their cousins
- cold (I'm used to the heat now and 24 feels cool)

Our last day in Asia

2010-07-08T04:08:00.003-05:00

We leave Bangkok tomorrow.
We are sad and happy to leave.
Happy to arrive back in Canada and be with family again.

Prayer requests:
- that we get over jetlag quickly
- (Ben feels he is comnig down with something)-that this will be nothing, just tired

Praise
- Our time at the camp was a real blessing
- we rode an elephant
- God showed us so many wonderful things and blessed us with so many new friends

How I am feeling
- hot, smelly, ready for some new clothing choices and no more washing laundry in the sink
- Extremely happy to have experienced so much and been so blessed to be able to do this.

Bamboo Hut

2010-07-05T09:08:00.002-05:00

Here we are in our bamboo hut. Just like I always imagined jungle missionaries living. Except I can hardly believe I can use the internet here. We are in an open air hut and lots of animals and people around, even running around under the hut. We have met a few people just randomly but most people are too shy to meet us they just smile from a distance because they do not speak English. There are two teachers from the Bible school that speak English and they have been taking us around and visiting with us. The stories here are amazing and often tragic. The people have a lot of sorrow but you know what the one thing we keep on hearing is singing, everyone sings. They start at 5:30 and go until 9 pm. Actually at this moment it is quiet because all the students are in class but I am sure the singing will start up again soon. We have not been wandering the camp because we were told no to, so we have only been here at the school and we went to church yesterday, where Ben did give a short message. This morning we managed to engage some children in playing with some small airplanes we brought along, and we have also been able to invite a few passer-byers into our hut for a visit. We had been waiting for a man we were told to wait for and we finnally spoke to him this morning. We were not sure what the plan would be for the next few days, so Ben was only asked this morning to teach and so he has had about 1/2 hour now to prepare what he will teach and he is not even sure how long yet...maybe up to 4 hours. We are just going with the flow of the Spirit, like we planned. They always say the motto of the pastor is "Be ready to preach, pray, or die." So here he has to live by it, though we have no intentions of the die part. It is actually very safe, except for maybe the bugs, we have sprayed a lot of insect repellant onto our skin in the past few days to be sure we do not get bit by a malaria or denge fever mozzi. So we will be protected from bugs but I'm not sure about the brain tumour we'll get from the chemicals.. Oh well if one thing won't kill you another thing will. We leave here tomorrow I think and will find our way back to the airport in Bangkok for our flight back to Canada on Friday. The adventure of the Klassen's is almost over.

Joelle says 'This Place is sooo cool!"

2010-06-30T04:03:00.004-05:00

We are at the beach in Thailand right now and the beach is especially nice, there is hardly anyone on it accept local fishermen at fishing time and a few other people from the guest house we are at. Juniper tree Dolphine Bay (http://www.juniper-tree.org/dolphin-bay.html) if you are curious for more. This place is so beautiful, I saw the sun rise this morning, only because a howling dog woke me. After I saw the sun rise though I wasn't so mad at the dog :) today while we were walking on the beach we saw 2 jelly fish and 3 octopi, there are also lots of crabs. Joelle was saying over and over "this place is sooo cool" We all agree. The other amazing thing we experienced today was kayaking to an island and feeding some monkeys. There were a lot of them and they knew we brought food so they welcomed us. We were not too sure at first but we warmed up to them and beached the kayaks. Lots of them jumped onto our kayaks when we were close enough to shore. We got out of the boats to take pictures and walk around with the monkeys, one climbed up my leg and another jumped on my back, that was a little too close to the wild. The girls kept them back with their paddles, though one ran up the paddle toward Seraya and she flipped that monkey off real fast. The protector monkeys didn't like that very much and came after her. That was when we decided we should get back in our kayaks and keep kayaking around the shore of the island.

Another day in paradise.

Praise:
- We are all healthy
- We get to enjoy God and his creation here in Thailand

Prayer:
- We would be prapared for Saturday when we join fellow beleivers at the refugee camp

How I'm feeling:
I think it's kinda obvious - thrilled to be here!

The past week

2010-06-28T19:43:00.002-05:00

Warning** I'm on a time limit for the internet and no spell checking and no editing has gone into this post***

It has been more than a week since I last posted and a lot has changed since my last post. We are in thailand now at a place I will forever remember as paradise...I can not even tell you how happy I am to be here it is an amazing place the Lord has led us but before I tell you all about here let me tell you about some of the journy of our last week. We went to Lake of Shinning waters home on Monday and painted with the kids. They had a lot of fun, we all had fun. These kids are so precious. We miss them already. ON Tuesday we went back to Anita's Home the kids here are a little older adn some are already very good painters. We visted more with the parents of the home. We are feeling the connection with them, they shared many things on their heart with us. On Wednesday decided to change our flight to an earlier date to Thailand because we had our heart set on a few days at the beach and for so many reasons it was proving to be a bad idea in Myanmar. Thursday we went to Lake of Shinning waters again and then friday we enjoyed one last day at the market shopping for gifts and souveniers. Sorry if I am running through nthis a litte fast I want to get to the good part before my internet time is up. We frew into Bangkok Saturday with a plan to go straight to Pattya to a nice fancy hotel with a pool by the beach but as we were getting off the plan we mentioned our destination to a dutch woman and she and a few others that heard our plan strongly advised us not to go there. So now we were in the airport without a plan. it was a very frustrating 2 1/2 hours but we chose a hotel in the city and went. It was a very nice hotel fancy for us adn it cost a lot too. so we only stayed 2 nights and tried to enjoy it. But the best part happened last night when a place we had really wanted to go to had room for us so we took the 4 hour bus trip and we found paradise. This place is on a quiet strip of beach this is not a hotel it is a rest house for Aisian missionaries. It is like an all inclusive. we have been here one night and plan on staying 4 before we go to the refugee camp. I hope you get the picture I am so happy and I have nothing more to ask God for because it is all praise today.

Our Sunday

2010-06-21T12:44:00.001-05:00

We had a very blessed Sunday. Ben shared the sermon on the mount - yes
all the sermons he preached in 3 months at EMMC in one sermon. It was very
condensed, but it was good, as I know we all had no doubt about. The
church we went to was a house church. The kitchen and living room were
packed, so packed in fact that the kids and some women had to sit outside
on the driveway just outside the front door. Ben stood beside the front
door in the corner between the two rooms. There was also a lot of singing
and prayer. Though it might not be as simple as you imagine, they had a PA
system with a pulpit and flowers to decorate. All but Ben's sermon was in
another language. After church they had prepared a meal for us and we ate
with them. Then we returned to our hotel in the same back of the pick up
that we arrived in. The girls were pretty excited to be going to church in
the back of the box(covered with a canopy) We had a nap and went for ice
cream before we were picked up to go to evening English church by a friend
from one of the homes. We went by taxi. The church is very lively and on
this day there were a lot of visitors from Mylasia and the preacher was
also from there and he spoke very powerfully for 1 hour and 20 minutes.
The girls managed to make it through because he happened to be very
entertaining and there was a little girl just in front of us that stared
at us the whole time. She seemed like she had never seen white kid
before. When the service was over we went back to our hotel room but by
this time we had not eaten supper and since we are all feeling better our
appetties are getting bigger. So we did what we have been doing for 4 days
already we took a Trishaw to our favorite restaurant. That was our Sunday.
Thanks for the prayers once again and I want to tell you what the preacher
said, and what we are learning to do so much more. Keep out eyes focused
on the God's glory not on the enemy's glory. Enemy wants to rob us, God
wants to lift us up. We may have obstacles to overcome but none are too
big to
overcome, look straight into the glory of God.

Praise:
- I am not dizzy anymore
- Ben had an awesome message from God's word

Prayer:
- our one friend here will have strength to overcome her obstacles.

My feeling today:
- The poverty is so sad

We are doing much better.

2010-06-19T11:55:00.002-05:00

Well the last two days have been wonderful. We are all feeling well! I
love life again. Praise the Lord! Thanks for all your prayers, they are
felt. Yesterday I had this great post all witty and full of life to send
you but then at the end I went to spell check it and it got deleted..turns
out Canada and here has the same problems - you have to save it to get it
back. So anyway, I won't cry over spilt milk, I'll just try again, the
only thing is I don't feel so witty today. :)
Any way here goes, yesterday we painted with the kids at Anita's home and
they had such a great time, we all had a great time. The other day when we
first met the kids I asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up
and many of them said Artists or painters-- even before they began. They
had been looking forward to it for a while.
The kids are so beautiful and generous and they just love Joe, Ray and
Ari. When our girls look hot they fan them and hold an umbrella over them.
For our girls ego - I made sure to tell them not to get used to it. LOL
all I need is our girls to come back from here more princess than they
already were. It was especially hot today while we were at the zoo with
the whole group.
We gave the flute that our friend Peter Wolf gave us to give to them and
they were so thankful, one boy started playing it right away. It has been
one of their prayers to get a flute, a real flute. Big thanks going out to you Peter.
We found this great restaurant to eat at. It is called the Monsoon and it
is a western restaurant, we were very adventurous to begin with and got
quite sick so now we are not taking chances with the food. Our appetites
are very small and so we don't need to eat much - one meal a day in
addition to our small breakfast in the morning that our hotel provides.
One fun way to get around is by Trishaw - a bicycle with a side car for
passengers. This is how we went to The Monsoon last night. It is a lot of
fun.
the Home parents at Anita's home are becoming close to us. There is so
much I want to tell you about them - later. The grandfather invited Ben to
speak at the morning service tomorrow, this is such a great honor. Now he
just needs the guidance to know what to say, pray for him.

Praise
- Emotionally I feel so much better
- painting went well
- kids are feeling better
- we have made some great connections
- the spirit has led in so many ways

Prayer requests
- for Ben as he speaks tomorrow
- as we plan for the days between our time here and flying on July 1st to
Bangkok (adventure vs. stick it out in the city)
- That our girls we eat the food that is served us at the home we are
going to tomorrow (they eat the western food we order but the food served
in a home has all gone uneaten, I fear this is insulting)

My feeling today
- healthy is exciting, I love this country and I'm happy to be here, I
love my family.

Continued Praise & Prayers!

2010-06-18T11:04:00.001-05:00

God is good... the girls feel so much better and we went to one home today and did the painting and balloon animals. They were so thrilled. It was such a good day.

I also feel a lot better emotionally. One prayer is that Ben is feeling sick now. I know it's working it's way around. Could I possibly stay clear of this one?

Can I keep him?

2010-06-17T11:16:00.001-05:00

We are loving these kids so much. There is one little boy in particular
that we all think would fit fabulously with our family. "Can I Keep Him?"
..Ya I know You all warned me "you're gonna want to take them home with
you." Of course we can't but we can enjoy and love them all here. Till now
we have been getting to know each other, tomorrow Lord willing we will
start painting. the kids are so excited, we asked them what they want to
be when they grow up and a good number of them have decided to be artists
or painters, even before they have begun.

Thanks for all the prayers

Prayer requests:
- The enemy would have no hand on diverting us with sickness
- We would make good food choices
- The girls will feel 100 percent
- I would feel lifted and be able to sleep well tonight
- The kids will all have a wonderful time painting

Praise:
- Ariel is better
- God is so good and we love these people a lot

My feeling:
Honestly I feel down today and need to be lifted. I have prayed the breath
prayer "Abba I belong to you" a lot, and tears are so close and welling in
my eyes even as I write this.

Thanks for being there for us, I really feel the connection.

Pray for Ariel

2010-06-14T22:54:00.000-05:00

Ariel was not well last night, this morning she is feeling a little better but can you please pray that she will feel 100 percent better. Also pray that we find a restaurant we like today we have all been eating so little. This place is very different. The people have been so great and we have taken many pictures and short spurts of video. Today we have a driver hired for the whole day. We plan to go to the Lake of Shining Waters home but we have to wait to see how Ariel is feeling. Our time difference is 12 1/2 hours ahead of Manitoba time in case you are wondering.

Where our legs will take us

2010-06-14T11:24:00.001-05:00

We went for a walk just for our first look around, lots of old run down
> building, puddles from the rain, beautiful friendly people, vendors
> selling anything and everything. On our way back we passed a sign that
> said baptist church we went to the door and there was a group gathered
> inside. The usher spoke English and invited us in. I looked at my family
> thinking - will they really enjoy this? - in another language and in this
> heat?? we have only been here for a few hours...my legs and mouth moved, I
> hardly think it was me because I did not want to go in. Ben agreed I know.
> We went into the church and sat somewhere in the middle were there was a
> pew open. We turned a lot of heads as we entered. Almost right away the
> girls complained and wanted to go... the service was not going to be over
> very soon. I kept thinking "why are we in here? was I so tired from the
> flight that I walked in my sleep into here." The heat was bad, there was
> no breeze. A kind lady behind us passed a hand held fan to the girls. It
> felt good but how much could we take. The man speaking in from bowed his
> head - It was time to pray. We bowed our heads and I started to pray my
> own prayer "Oh God what are we doing in here? Please help the girls make
> it through the service..it would be so rude to leave just after we've
> arrived. there must be a reason you have led us into this church. Please
> Lord why are we here, help us make it through." I put that prayer on
> repeat for a while -- it was long prayer. When the prayer was done I felt
> confident some who if we waited God would show us the answer. a few
> minutes passed - We had been there maybe all of 15 minutes, Seraya asked
> has it been an hour yet? Can we go?" Ben looked over at me-- we can't make
> it to the end of the service, I feel like I am going to faint. I see it in
> his eyes too. I whisper to him that he and Ariel should go now to the back
> and we will follow --so we don't make a scene. he goes I wait. Suddenly
> the prayer is being answered A man who can speak perfect English comes and
> sits beside me
> telling me that an English service held in a different place in the
> Evening is the place we should go, he understands we are struggling, with
> the language and the heat. I see we were led to this seat to get this
> information and so I know I can leave in peace. Thank God. We go with this
> man later to the English service it is a huge blessing to worship with the
> believers here and being led in this way. I was in awe of God. The last
> thing I will write is the writing on the wall in the church. Sorry if my
> writing it very choppy my time is short here.
>
> "To have ten thousand members who are Christ centered and spirit filled
> believers and to reach the people with the gospel and plant many churches"
>
> Prayer requests
> - We will stop feeling dizzy and get good nights sleep
> - the home tomorrow will be a blessing
>
> Praise
> - the way God leads
> - safe travel here
>
> feeling
> - surreal
> - happy
>
>
>
>
>
>

One Sleep

2010-06-10T07:36:00.003-05:00

We drive to the coast today(about a 6 hour drive). One more sleep until we fly out. Tomorrow we leave!!

Prayer requests:
- that we won't forget, lose or have anything stolen, like passports or a bags
- the girls will get along well, squashing selfishness and jealousy (good one for all of us)
- that we will move through the airports with ease and there will be angels to help us along the way

Praise
- for the great time at my parents and Zeke really adjusting well
- Ben and I have such an amazing friendship

How I'm feeling:
- Extremely excited and a little nervous

A Bear

2010-06-09T11:28:00.004-05:00

Yesterday morning started out pretty normal. I woke up at 6:00 my dad was already up and had mate(green tea) ready. We usually sit at the table, drink mate, visit and then read our Bibles, and my dad reads the daily bread, but first we needed to take Zeke to do his business in the pasture(training him where to go). The dogs played and did their stuff and we came back inside. Then Dad looked back out the window and saw a black bear wandering in the yard, right were we had just walked. Can't believe he was there with us and we had no idea. Tito barked and attacked, Zeke started barking from a distance and then went to the opposite side of the house to bark--what a chicken! Can't expect too much protection from him. LOL I ran to get the cameras and to wake Ben and the kids. Soon we were on the front steps watching this authentic nature show before us. It was very cool. The bear seemed to have no fear of the dog or us, he just calmly sauntered where ever he wanted, at least until Dad shot him with the sling shot. Then he made a quick exit up the hill. We won't soon forget the experience. Thanks God for letting us see a bear.

Who Cares?

2010-06-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

What time is it when the clock says "Who cares"? - It's the best time of your life. The clock on the wall of my parents house ticks away pointlessly with these words scrolled over it's face. That's life in the mountains. It feels so relaxing not to care about the time, you eat when you're hungry, you work and play in the day and sleep at night. But it's hard not to care about what time it is because it is something I'm so used to. I hope you find some time today to say who cares about the time, don't have to be in the mountains to relax a little.

The Adventure has Begun

2010-06-07T16:01:00.005-05:00

The adventure has begun. I don't know how to really feel about that, I'm terribly excited, almost like I'm living someonelses life, yet I am afraid, not for what is to come(like many of you think we should be) but now that this long awaited adventure has begun it will all too soon be over. But no sense wodd'n up my panties over it, instead I'm going to spend every minute living in the moment. And at this moment I'm going to share some time with you.
We left Altona Saturday at 1:00pm drove through the night and arrived here just in time to enjoy some of my mom's home cooking got supper and to help milk Buttercup.
A small thing but huge prayer request was answered upon arriving here at my parents. We wanted Zeke(our dog), who will be staying here for the duration of our trip, to get along with the farm animals. He has done really great so far -No dead chickens and Zeke and Tito(my parents Dog) are best friends already. PTL

Answers to prayer:
- I want to tell you God cares about small details. Like the prayer for Zeke, in the last week God has answered so many that might seem small but are just what we needed.
- Someone to help Ben in a pinch at the Costco Pharmacy to get our malaria drugs -Thanks God. Then I found out they would cost more than we thought but minutes after finding this out and beginning to stress about the extra expense Ben walked in with a card from a friend with a beautiful encouragement in it and some $! I felt the arms of God wrap around me in that moment. Wow! Why do I always forget God's provision and faithfulness?
- Another item we needed at the last second at Rexal drug store, that they apparently never carry, they just happened to find in the back and sold it to us for 25 cents! I was praying right there at the counter as they were looking for it. God rocks!
- Zeke getting on with the animals
- All the preparations were completed before departing, only forgot a few items - that we have noticed so far. What a praise!

Prayer requests:
- That we will follow the spirit every day
- That we'll have a uneventful flight on Friday and that our luggage will make it too.
- That Zeke will get used to being a farm dog (outside all the time)

My feeling today - Sooo happy! -I just love the mountains, hasnt really registered yet that we leave for Asia on Friday.

Thankful Thursday

2010-06-03T15:57:00.003-05:00

I am thankful to God for
- Ben who is just sooo awesome!
- Ariel who is compassionate
- Seraya who loves to snuggle
- Joelle who is a good listener
- people groups who make the world interesting
- internet to communicate long distances
- health
- a calm and peace that surpasses understanding
- people who support and pray for us as we go to Asia
- all the people who have wished us a good trip
- sun
- 2 days till we leave
- people who invite my kids over
- my parents and their beautiful place

5 days till blast off

2010-06-01T07:58:00.008-05:00

A 2 square km area with 40-80 thousand people living in it.
A refugee camp in Thailand, This is one of the places we will go to on our trip to Asia.

Answers to prayer
- We are now confirmed on our invitation to the refugee camp. Just got the email this morning
- Ben and I have felt unified

Prayer requests
- That God would prepare our hearts and minds for what is ahead.
- that nothing important will be forgotten
- Ben will be efficient in his school work. (He is no longer auditing the class)

My feeling today
- on top of the packing and cleaning and motivated, with a smidgen of worry that something important will be forgotten

Paints and chalk and stickers

2010-05-27T21:47:00.003-05:00

So the good news is the Canadian Embassy in Bangkok reopened this week. The situation there has been looking a lot better this week than it did last week. We really praise the Lord for that. I check twitter for my instant news feed. Technology is so great.
We also praise the Lord for all the people that have supplied items for the children we are going to be with. I have a pile of stuff in my living room now. Paints and chalk and stickers and ball pumps and sketch books.... it is so awesome. I am excited to see what the kids will do and think of all these things, I am also a little nervous about doing the painting sessions with them. Will they understand me? Will I prepare to do the things they are interested in? These are things I pray the spirit will lead me in from now until then.

Answered prayers
- Bangkok is getting safer
- We have all the items we requested for the home

Prayer requests
- I'll be prepared for the painting session

How I'm feeling
- swinging between relaxed and stressed, excited

If it is the Lord's will

2010-05-26T12:57:00.004-05:00

My feeling today - humble, challenged, joyful
Prayer request
- Pray that we will continue to make good decisions and that Ben and I would be unified in them.
- also pray that I'll be able to get all the things done in the next week and 1/2 that I need to do.
Answers to prayer - the stress of making some decisions has lifted and the Lord has given me some truth to focus on. I realized how I have been focusing on my will in this trip not the Lord's will. The Lord challenges me to hold it more loosely, with an open hand before him. I now want to say "We will go to Asia and do the things we've planned if it is the Lords will.... as James chapter 4 encourages.

Missons Trip

2010-05-25T21:34:00.002-05:00

We are leaving June 11th on a family missions trip(Leaving for BC June 6) . If you have not received the trip plan and general info please leave me a message or contact me some way and if I know who you are I will send you the details. I am going to be using this blog to update on my feelings, stories, the plans and the prayer requests but for privacy in some areas I am going to leave out details, keep it general or change names and that kind of thing.

My feeling today - concern, anxious, wonder
prayer request - We have some decisions to make and I am feeling the stress and the unknown of it all, please pray that we follow the Spirit and not ourselves

My Bucket List

2010-05-03T17:16:00.001-05:00

What's on your bucket list. What random, thrilling, simple yet meaning-rich things do you hope to do before you die? It's really a curious thing to me. A bucket list says a lot about a person. A few years ago I wrote my bucket list, just to see what I'd put down and see if I'd actually do any of it.

So you wanna know what's on my bucket list? .....

I can't give you the whole list but here are a few of the 50 things I have on my list right now that I want to do before I die. If not before I die then Ben tells me there's always the millenium.

1. Run a Marathon ----check -June 2008
2. Do an over night canoe trip
3. Take the kids on a missions trip --- soon
5. Skydive
6. Go to a Seeds of Hope children's home --- soon
10. Write a book
12. Sail a long distance
14. Read a book in one weekend ---check - December 2009 over Christmas
15. Learn an instrument
18. Sleep under the stars ----check - August 2009 at my parents
20. Climb the big tree in Campbell Valley park with the girls
21. Go fishing for crab
22. Learn to swing dance with Ben
25. Learn to weld
27. Build a tree fort with the girls -----check - June 2008 with my dad
28. Write a good song
29. Share my story with the women in our church ---- check -November 2008
30. live somewhere hot again
36. White water raft
37. Teach my girls how to snowboard
42. Live in community living
41. Home school
44. Hide treasure
47. Complete a university degree
48. Act in a play

What's on your list?

Silence

2010-02-07T16:44:00.002-06:00

For a long time I blogged weekly, in some cases daily, then I hit a bloggers block. It's like a part of my brain just fell out... I am still waiting to get back my blogging brain.
I know a few things have been going on -partly I just don't know what to say and the more time that passes the more I lose confidence that I have something worth reading to write about, so I'm in the middle of this but I am sure I'll be back to writing when I find the words and confidence to write them, or have something interesting happen in my life.
I know some were wondering if I'd do a 28 day challenge again this year and I really wanted to but I just never felt the drive to do so. Sorry if I disappointed any.
Anyway, that's all for now,
Blessings

"Jesus Bubble" Living

2010-01-24T18:09:00.000-06:00

How do we keep being captivated anew with radical faith in a "Jesus bubble", where Jesus is familiar and has always been there? How do you create an expectant faith filled atmosphere as we raise our kids?
When I was journaling through Mark I found this question surface.
I think when Jesus has been taught to us from childhood the thrill of what he does in our lives is mistaken for something small, and we loose the significance of it or because he so common we forget to see him and maybe sometimes we loose faith, or forget to have faith.
So since our home would be considered a Christian home, where Jesus is a big part of our everyday, I have been thinking about this. How do we keep Jesus fresh and vibrant in our little "bubble"? How have you tried to do this in your home?

In the Name of Creativity

2010-01-15T09:28:00.003-06:00

"A recipe is merely words on paper; a guideline, a starting point from which to improvise." I read this on recipe site a while ago and now I can't remember where but I couldn't agree more, this is my view of cooking. It is what my mother instinctively taught me. I do few things exactly as I'm told actually. I like to be creative and try to do almost everything some way that maybe few people have ever done it. Things don't always go well though, for instance I came up with a really bad one the other night in the name of creativity, awful really. I was trying to make my own version of Kari Kari, which is a Filipino dish. I didn't have all the ingredients so as you can guess I either skipped them or added something similar, oh and I didn't follow the cooking instructions at all either. When it was all said and done I had a feeling it wasn't going to go well at the supper table that night. I contemplated not even serving it but I'd invested too much time, pride and ingredients to just toss it, so I looked at it more as a character building experience. My hunch-niggles where right, "what is this?", "It smells weird", "Is this all we're having?", "I'm not hungry." I forced the kids to eat it, I saw Ben grimace as he told me "It's OK....."(do you think he lied?), I Could barely stomach 1/2 my plate. Later that evening Ben said, "Can I just say one thing, can you not make that again." We laughed and I said "I know it smelled like dog food. I will never intentionally make that again."
Oh ya in the name of creativity I have made some pretty awful things, but I've also made some good ones I think.
Ok ok I have one more wipe-out story for you due to my over creativeness. Some of you will have witnessed this unfortunate birth of my imagination. In one of the first years when Ben and I came to this church I was in charge of something creative for the Purpose driven life and I created this huge globe, I think about 5 foot circumference, for the church stage. It was paper mache and tin foil. The skeleton of the globe was something like 6 hula hoops. Plus it had several directional arrows shooting out from its surface. Oh it was ugly, the tin foil kept falling off and I keep sticking it back on with a opened stapler or sticky tack, the arrows kept slinking lower and lower, some eventually pointed down and then fell off. Every Sunday it was up there I was so embarrassed by it but of course I kept those insecurities buried deep below my confident creators mask. I don't remember anyone ever saying anything to me about what they really though about it but I can only imagine how many other people have heard about it. Anyway I am laughing about it now because I feel like I was able to redeem myself with this last project that hangs on the wall. Besides why not laugh about it. If you remember it I am so sorry you had to endure it on stage all those weeks.
The trash heap is bigger because of me ;)

Best photo of the year

2010-01-15T08:50:00.003-06:00

I also love what this photo captures - pure enjoyment of the moment, Joelle is captivated by the beauty and the fun of the huge flakes.
Thanks to all who played along.

2009 Best Photo Contest

2010-01-07T09:43:00.001-06:00

I'm a little behind (6 days) but I know you still want to see them - the best photos of 2009(our kids) And you get to vote for your favorite.

January - The Attempt to Sleep in the Quinzee

February - It's a Krazee House Hold

March - Zoom Zoom

April - Happy Hat

May - Play Day

June - Old Fashioned Picnic

July - Aaaaa the Ocean Air

August - Sshhh... Attack

September - Abandoned Baby

October - First Snow

November - The Best Thing About a Twin is ...

December - The Happiest Days of our Lives

Mark 16

2010-01-06T10:44:00.003-06:00

The end but not really the end. Jesus is raised. Jesus is alive.

V. 9-16 I decided the ending of Mark is not my favorite. The "added" portion just felt wrong. After reading and listening through Mark I feel like I have a sense of Mark as a writer and of course Jesus, his subject. These last verses didn't fit for me and there is doubt in my mind as to how serious to take them. That said verse 8 is a very strange place to end too.

I have been so thankful for the accountability journaling here has given me, but I have to admit it was a challenge some days, I don't think I would have been so faithful had I been doing it on my own.

Mark 15

2010-01-05T07:11:00.005-06:00

Jesus innocent but treated like a criminal
Jesus on the cross for all to mock
Jesus willing to do God's will but asking "why?"
Jesus dies
Jesus' body is laid in a tomb and sealed

After listening to this chapter I feel sorry and then grateful and humbled by the way Jesus dies willing to do his fathers will, he dies so I can be free, so I can have wholeness and eternity, that should've been me, for my sins, he is my replacement, he sacrifices for me, for us, ....Jesus I thank you. I love you .... these pathetic English words just doesn't seem like enough.

Mark 14

2010-01-04T09:35:00.004-06:00

Thanks to all those that have been following along in Mark, we're almost done. If you haven't been on in a while here is what I'm up to with this Mark thing. Click on these words to find out.

The first story in this chapter I always find so beautiful. I wish I could do that for Jesus. I find his acceptance of extravagance rather interesting because from my upbringing extravagance for Jesus has not been looked upon with kind eyes. Like those present at the pouring out of the perfume,is how I naturally feel like responding, "What?! Don't waste the money, don't spend money on fancy stuff for the church building or worship service, go practical and simple." yet I see Jesus here accepting this extravagant offering as an act of worship. I am now conflicted. I sometimes wish reading the bible made things easier to understand but in this case it makes things complicated, because Jesus lived such a sacrificial life for the poor and sick. What do you think? Should we be extravagant in order to better worship God, even if people look on saying, "Why this waste? It could have been sold and the money given to the poor." Or should we keep a small worship budget and spend more money on the poor?
Maybe the story no longer holds us to do as the woman did because Jesus says "...You will not always have me." Times changed.
Ya ... so the outcome of that was clear as mud. I love the bible, makes me think.

As i was reading the part about the Lord supper preparations I realized something I hadn't really thought of before. Jesus knew what the disciples would encounter(V.16). He did this with the donkey a few days ago too. Now I am a firm believer that Jesus was fully human and he gave up his godness when he came to earth, that would mean whatever he does on earth is possible for us as well with the holy spirit in us. This to me is fascinating that we can know the future if we need to. What do you think of that?

Mark 14:38 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak." This is a verse that I have memorized and recited many times. It is a powerful verse for me because it helps me keep my freedom. I know it would take a lot more words to really explain this but let me try. When I discovered where I was weak, where I was trapped in sin and then found freedom, I had some safe guards to place in my life and this verse was what led me to understand that it is more than pray, it is keeping watch. Watch for where the weak points were in my armor, where the enemy could try to take me captive again. Watch means to me to toss thoughts, small thoughts out of my mind as soon as they come in.... and of course pray. That is the short version. I love this verse.

I was listening to this chapter through the Bible experience (which is the audio dramatized bible on MP3) it brought tears to my eyes and gave me chills. I am like peter sometimes, I am like Jesus accusers sometimes ....am I like Jesus sometimes? - not in this story.

Mark 13

2010-01-03T20:04:00.003-06:00

Signs of the end of days- Any day it could be the end of all this, do you ever think of that? I don't normally think about it at all but as I read this it does make me wonder. The world seems to be falling apart, and I wonder, when I think of how long ago Jesus said these words, is it really going to happen? "At that time men will see the son of man coming in the clouds.. this generation will not pass away until all these things have happened....therefore keep watch... I say to everyone: 'watch!'" It has been so long since he said those words, what is God waiting for? .... I guess the part that makes me wonder and seems strange is when he says "this generation will not pass away until all these things have happened." Didn't they all die, we are all still here? What did he mean? .. I guess it's even silly to ask is the end going to come. Of course it is. Jesus said it is. I guess the real question is, am I ready and doing as he commanded in his final imperative of the chapter? "Watch!".

Mark 12

2010-01-02T21:29:00.000-06:00

V. 15-17 Jesus has wise answers for the Pharisees and Herodians and he amazes many with the way he speaks to them.
V. 29-31 the most important commandments. Good to memorize and remind ourselves of daily.

Interesting there were no miracles in this chapter just teaching and answering the attacks of the Pharisees.

Mark 11

2010-01-01T20:01:00.002-06:00

V. 11 "he looked around at everything but since it was late he went." It seems like a strange thing to mention. He doesn't give a speech he just observes. The "but" in there makes me think he wanted to do more that just observe, but time was not available to him.
V. 12-19 Jesus goes the next day when he has the time, and he seems ticked. He "gives it" to the fig tree on the way to the temple and then he "gives it" to the buyers and the sellers and the chief priests and teachers of the law.
V. 22-25 doubt is a crippling enemy and belief in God is powerful to change things.
V. 27-33 Jesus doesn't try to defend himself, he knows it would be wasted words, instead I think by the question he asks the teachers, he is trying to show them the error in their thinking.

What does this chapter say to me? - Don't let doubt in. and ...The image of God being human, again, seems to stand out to me from verse 11 where Jesus is constrained by time. God the age less, endless, creator of time is trapped by it, as he lives as a man among us. Truly amazing that he did this for us.

Happy New year everyone!

Mark 10

2009-12-31T09:01:00.000-06:00

V.15 What does it mean to receive the kingdom of God like a little child?
V.23-31 Why is it hard for the rich to enter the kingdom of Heaven? I see Jesus is asking this man to sell everything. Do the rich really have to sell everything to enter heaven? Or maybe it's harder to simply trust in God when you have other things, like money, to give you security. And maybe that's why he tells him to sell everything because it is hindering him. Verse 27 seems to say it would be difficult for the poor too because it is impossible for people without God either way, which we know well because we are saved by grace alone. Then 29-30 goes on to say it is those that will sacrifice the comfort of family for the sake of the gospel that will receive eternal life. It is a little confusing but what I think Jesus is getting at is that people should not let anything hinder them from coming to the kingdom, not family or wealth or anything else, just come to God like a child and God makes salvation possible.
V.33-34 those words I imagine would have been difficult for Jesus to say, knowing it was about himself.
V. 43-45 This is a key verse in this book. In my opinion this is the heart of what Jesus has been saying and trying to do to this point.

One thing I have begun to notice is that Jesus was intentional about his teaching and healed only when called upon to do so. The stories earlier on where mostly healings, people came to him to be healed but didn't recognize the wealth beyond that that Jesus had to offer. Now in Chapter 10 it seems they are beginning to realize. 10:1 says it was his custom to teach them (it did not say heal their sick). The chapter with a healing because the blind man comes and asks for it. The Blind man calls Jesus "Rabbi" which means teacher. Jesus constantly heals because he has compassion on the people. I love Jesus.

Our 2009 Family Snapshot

2009-12-30T13:35:00.000-06:00

In case you didn't get out Chritams letter, here are a few snippets from our life:
-We've been in Manitoba for more than 6 years now and it really feels like home. Sometimes people ask us "If you die now where would you be buried?" We say Manitoba, that's how I know we are home. That said we still miss the mountains and ocean and family we have in BC, especially now during the holidays.
- For summer holidays this year we went to BC with Jeff Krahn and kids, and Al and Martha Sawatzky and boys. While we were in the Rocky Mountain area we went to a lake way up in the mountains. It was an afternoon in time I wish could last forever, the sun was so warm, the lake was a wonderful turquoise colour, we were swimming and lounging on the dock with some awesome friends and then it started to rain, yes the sun was still shining and this was the best. The whole trip was a memorable adventure.
-Our family loves music. We have a lot of diversity in our music. Music is often combined with dancing at our house, that's how we keep fit :). Our favourite musical artist right now are: Krystal Meyers(Joelle), Hannah Montanna(Ariel), David Crowder(Cindy), Xavier Rudd (Ben), and Gummibar(Seraya)
-Ben really got into cyclocross(off road biking with a road bike) this year. He is part of a local group that call themselves ABES (Altona Biking EnthusistS) and I can tell you first hand he is very enthusiastic about biking, he has the kids hooked and is not giving up on trying to convince me to be a Babe of ABE. It has been a lot of fun cheering him on at races and see him so excited about it.
- We attended the Church Planting Congress in Calgary. We travelled with over 40 other people from our conference. It was amazing. We were encouraged once again to keep focused on the basics: Make followers of Jesus, reach out to our local community, and reach out to the ends of the earth.
-This year we saw more than ever that our little girls are growing up, the thought comes with a mixture of fear and excitement. The scary part is how they move to be so independent of us and look and act more like tweenagers than little girls. The exciting part is seeing them grow in their faith, read their bibles on their own with enthusiasm and begin to ask questions that matter and to be active in caring for the poor. Ariel read the whole book of Psalms this fall. Joelle and Seraya went on a unicef collecting drive all on their own in some cold weather. And now they are all getting enthusiastic about fundraising for drilling a well in a place that needs clean water, talk to Ariel if you also have an interest in this.

Mark 9

2009-12-29T07:30:00.000-06:00

V.4 Have you ever seen a dead person? Or a ghost? The disciples see Jesus converse with this 2 dead guys. It just seems so weird.
V. 15 Jesus is treated like a superstar, but he ignores it and goes straight to the issue at hand in verse 16.
V 19 Jesus is tired of their unbelief, they love his miracles so much but they lack faith and he is frustrated it seems, but he always has compassion.
V. 23 "Everything is possible for him who believes" Jesus says. I hear these words in my life too, and I echo with the boys father in verse 24 "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief." Jesus I need your help for so many things.
V. 30,31 Jesus takes his disciples on a retreat. Cool.
V. 35-37 Jesus teaches them again about what he has come to do, he teaches about serving one another. Pride and selfishness have defiantly been the disease of my life, I keep trying to get rid of it but it comes back or I find more of it in my life. Jesus has said a few times in Mark about the way to greatness, it's through being a servant to all, to become like a child. Jesus' kingdom is an upside down kingdom, the way up is down. I think this all means that we need, I need to be less selfish, more serving, more grateful, more generous, relinquish more of what I think is "rightfully" mine. Like I said riding myself of it will be a life long endeavor but I think I'm on the journey anyway.

Mark 8

2009-12-28T07:39:00.001-06:00

V. 15, as I read this I wonder what does it mean, "be careful for the yeast of the pharisees." I know yeast is something that even if there is a little it can affect the who batch and once you add it to the dough, under the right conditions, it works all on it's own fermenting all the dough. The Pharisees have just asked for a sign and Jesus seems ticked with them. Maybe Jesus is warning them not to let the Pharisees influence and thinking work into their lives, not even a little. It seems the Pharisees were doubting Jesus' authority.

For the first time in reading the gospels I feel like I am seeing Jesus' healing ministry as a side show. Am I seeing something wrongly? Set me straight if I am. Jesus is healing people because he is so compassionate and can't stop from helping them when they have faith, it's just in him to love and give but it's not what he really came to do. I feel like I am seeing this because he constantly tells people to keep the healing a secret and then he asks his disciples in verse 27-30 "Who do you say I am?" as if he is really wondering if his true intent is coming through to them, but then he tells them to keep that a secret too.... I don't know ...

V. 34-38 gives us another picture of Jesus' intentions on earth, to be an example of a true servant of all.

While examining 34-38 of the chapter I ask myself these 3 questions
1. How do I see this working in my family right now? - Wow I don't see the servant that I should be, I do see boldness though.
2. What new possibilities are here? - A happier home, serving home, with more thankfulness.
3. What would happen if we took these words seriously? - Less hesitation in sharing our faith anywhere and everywhere, more people would know Jesus. We would focus less on gaining in this world and focus on serving and gaining in eternity.

Mark 7

2009-12-26T21:31:00.002-06:00

V. 8 I wonder if Jesus might have this to say about some things we do?
V.24, 36, 37 Again Jesus is trying to be secretive. It is almost as if he is willingly doing the miracles because of his compassion but yet doesn't want to do them for some other reason. Just a thought here, maybe the people were all seeking him for the wrong reason, selfish motives, wanting to be amazed, wanting healing, not truth and understanding and maybe Jesus feels he is getting too much glory and he wants His father to get the glory instead.

1.What does the text say? - Jesus is healing people, Jesus opposes the pharisees who are following traditions that are nullifying the word of God.
2.What does it mean? - Jesus is more powerful than physical ailments, God cares about our physical well being, Jesus was a compassionate man, traditions need to be evaluated by scripture to see if it nullifies the word of God.
3. How will I respond? - Be more compassionate like Jesus and remember to ask for healing on mine and other ailments, evaluate my traditions(as best I can) in light of scripture.

Mark 6

2009-12-24T07:08:00.001-06:00

For those of you that might be just joining me, I'll let you know, I am reading and journaling through Mark over the holidays and I'm hoping you'll join me in doing the same. I really appreciate the accountability.
I will be taking a 2 day blog break on the 25th and 26th, so you have time to catch up if you're behind.

My random thoughts on Mark 6
V.1-6 Faith is a big deal. These people in Jesus home town did not see him like others did and they lacked faith. To them Jesus was just too familiar, he'd just always been around, part of their life. And it seems that because of his familiarity to them he was nothing too special, and so they didn't have faith in him. As I am writing this I am noticing something similar between the people in Jesus home town and my experience from a Christan upbringing and this predominately Christian town. When one has grown up in a Christian home the freshness and excitement of Jesus is often missing, he's just always been there. I hear it all the time from young people when talking about their testimonies, "My testimony is boring, I grew-up in a Christian home, I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 3, I never did anything really bad.blah blah blah..." The realization of Jesus' power is missing, the realization and expectation of a miracle is missing. There is nothing wrong with knowing Jesus from child up but I guess the question is - How do we keep being captivated anew with radical faith in a "Jesus bubble", where Jesus is familiar and has always been there? How do you create an expectant faith filled atmosphere as we raise our kids? (I'll have to explore this father in a future blog post)
V. 34 Jesus has compassion on them. I love these words about Jesus.
V. 46 Jesus need to get with his father again and so he makes the time for it.
V. 48 Funny that Jesus was about to pass by them, wasn't he heading to them? Maybe he was playing a joke on them?
V. 56 "All who touched him were healed." Amazing, Jesus these stories are amazing, I want to see action like this in our time too. There are so many sick and hurting people in our day too, if we have faith can these events take place in our time? Are they happening? Where? How? Lord help me to have faith. Increase the healing in our day.

Mark 5

2009-12-23T08:32:00.004-06:00

V. 17 Jesus was just too much for them to Handle, they were afraid of what they didn't understand about the situation, so they send him away. I wonder if sometimes we do the same, Jesus is doing something amazing but it is way to different or scary for us so we have a choice to distance ourselves from him or follow him one step at a time in faith.
V. 19-20 "Go home to your family and tell them." Jesus gives the man his mission, to reach him family and home town, as opposed to going to far and distant places. I think this is an encouragement for people who don't feel God's call to distant places, but to stay near their family and neighborhood to be the missionary right where they are.
V. 43 I wonder why Jesus didn't want anyone to know what happened? and I always find I interesting that despite his wishes the story ended up being written in the most popular book of all time(also God's own word), still being read 2000+ years after it happened. Obviously he didn't really want it to be secret forever.

I like the story from 21-43. One of the reasons I like it is because it shows a day in the life of Jesus more than other stories seem to. Jesus is on the way to one miracle and another one "happens" on the way. I thought "happens" was a strange word to use for a miracle but it was the best word I could think of because from everyone but the woman and God's eyes it just suddenly happens. This day in the life of Jesus is filled with 2 kinds of people, those with faith and those without faith. Each persons experience with Jesus hinged on if they had faith or not. Because of faith Jairus got his daughter back, the woman stopped bleeding and was freed from her suffering, Peter, James and John got to witness an amazing miracle. because of their lack of faith the others had fear and sorrow, others ignored them, Jesus ignored them and left them out of the amazing things he was about to do, they did not witness a miracle or experience one themselves.
After reading this story I feel challenged to have faith, reminded to just believe Jesus will do what he says he can do and will be who he says he will be.

Mark 4

2009-12-22T07:39:00.001-06:00

V. 2,34 he taught them(all the people) many things by parable and he only tells his disciples the meanings of the parables. The rest of the people had to figure it out. I don't really understand why he does this, it doesn't seem fair.
V. 40 It seems that Jesus expected brave and bold things from the disciples. Maybe with the fact that they had the inside scoop on the parables Jesus also expected more of them on account of it. Actually I think that is what V.24 and 25 says.
V. 41 I love this questions, I can feel the awe in it. " Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!" I read this stories of Jesus and I get so excited. Let's be honest we don't always "feel" it, I mean "feeling" like Jesus really did this, sometimes it's just a story, but the closer I get to know him the more I really believe and "feel" it. It's a powerful thing to know it's reality. Jesus instantly calmed the storm. Anything seems possible.... I am in awe of You Jesus.

2 questions I ask myself
1. What do I see in this chapter that is already at work in my life? - I see good soil in my life (V.20) where truth is producing good fruit. I see being a disciple of Jesus is enlightening(V.34), I just wish sometimes he was here in person.
2. What new possibilities are found here? - Blessings of more understanding will be found as I use the knowledge/understanding I already have(V.24). Great and wondrous things will happen when I have faith and am not afraid (V.40), like the calming of the storm.

Mark 3

2009-12-21T10:05:00.000-06:00

Jesus is not so interested in keeping a list of rules, he has his Fathers business in mind, which in this first story(v.1-6) includes Jesus healing a man on the Sabbath, which was considered work by the rule keepers. Jesus is concerned about reconciling the world to right not keeping rules, even to the point of taking great risks(the pharisees are now plotting to kill him because he does this) As I read this I wonder am I willing to take great risks to do the work of reconciliation? Risk like Jesus did?.... Lord make me willing to do your will no matter what it might do to my "image".

What questions do I have after reading this chapter?
V. 12 Why did Jesus not want the evil spirits to say who he was?
V. 14 Did Jesus only give power to preach and authority of demons to the apostles? Or was that also given to other believers?
V. 29 What does eternal sin mean?
V. 34, 35 Does biological family really mean nothing to Jesus?

* For those in the Young Moms Bible Study that are following along here, I just want to make a note about the lists of questions we gave you, feel free to deviate from those questions, as you can see I don't follow them. I actually have found it difficult to follow them. The point is to find what works for you and do it and learn from scripture.

Mark 2

2009-12-20T08:33:00.006-06:00

The first story(v1-12) is Jesus healing the man who was lowered through the roof. The part that has caught my attention is the miracle of forgiven sins. We often see the physical healing as, "wow-Amazing" but take the forgiveness miracle for granted, at least I do. I know forgiveness. I've experienced that a lot but physical healing not so much, only a few times in my life have I specifically identified my healing as a miracle. We, or I should say I, need to be more wowed over forgiveness because they are equal miracles.

Jesus a friend of sinners, Jesus not for the ones who think they're religious(v.13-17).
1. What does this say to our world? - Jesus is for them.
2. What does this say to our country? - Jesus is for them.
3. What does this say to our community? - Jesus is for them.
4. What does this say to our congregation? - Jesus is for us and we need to move out from our 4 walls and 101 self-serving programs to be Jesus to our world, country and community.
5. What does this say to our family? - Jesus is for them
6. What does this say to me? - Jesus is for me and I need to remember to extend grace and that Jesus is good news for sinners and I need to be their friends too.

Mark 1

2009-12-19T09:18:00.000-06:00

Journaling Mark 1
As I read the chapter my mind didn't settle on just one story or passage but several points that stand out.
I notice it is interesting that Jesus is tempted(v.12) and yet in James 1 says God can not be tempted. Not a discrepancy, I don't think, it just shows me Jesus was able to be tempted because he was fully human, which I feel brings Jesus closer to really knowing and understanding what I go through. Oh Jesus you know what I go though, your strength will be my strength.
Verse 35 seems to highlight, Jesus gets up early to pray in solitude. He's getting his fathers priorities for the day..... Jesus I want to be like you... I don't know how often Jesus does that, it doesn't say, we always assume it was daily maybe it was weekly maybe monthly does it really matter? I know my day goes in a wonderful way when I can get up in the house while it's still calm and quiet and have some solitude with my heavenly father, to get his priorities. Jesus thanks for teaching us how it's done.

1 What is the question to which the text responds?
- Was Jesus really tempted like us? Does Jesus need to get direction from God? What does Jesus do to get directions from God?
2 What do these passages say to you about relating to others?
- I will know the fathers priorities in relating to others when I spend time with him in a quiet place like Jesus did.

Christmas Break Challenge

2009-12-18T09:25:00.004-06:00

I want to give you the same challenge as we gave in our Young Moms Bible Study for the Christmas break.
Some of you might be like me, when routine changes I need something different to keep me focused on Studying and learning from God's word, or I do nothing at all.

The challenge is to read one chapter a day in Mark and journal. There are 16 chapters, so since there are 21 days we actually have 5 free days. (which I know is 3 weeks, when Christmas break is only 2 weeks, but that is how long we have until out Bible Study meets again)

So the challenge is read a chapter and journal your thought and answer some application questions of the text. Like-

What does this say to our world?
What does this say to our family?
What does this say to our community?
What does this say to our congregation?
What does this say to me?

or

What does the text say?
What does the text mean?
Ho will I respond?

or other questions you think are important to the chapter.

So I'm going to do this here through my blog, I'm going to journal my thoughts on each chapter and I'd love for those of you who are taking up the challenge to join me by adding your thoughts, comments and questions for each chapter.

Tribute to Ben Sawatzky

2009-12-14T14:54:00.002-06:00

For those of you who knew Ben Sawatzky, who dies this past weekend, go to Ben's blog and comment about what he meant to you. Tomorrow Tuesday Dec. 15 at 2:00pm is Ben's Funeral.

I knew Ben because he was almost always at the coffee table at church when I was there, he'd have already made coffee and was waiting for others to arrive. We really took him for granted. He always brought food. I remember when Marv found out he had diabetes and the other pastors where watching their weight he started bringing fruit instead of sweets because it was what you guys would eat. One things for sure, Ben won't be lonely anymore, but we'll be missing him.

Funny - from my kids

2009-12-08T22:01:00.006-06:00

Some day my kids are going to hate me for having a blog, but they make me laugh, I can't help but tell you about them.

Some of the things that make me laugh are the words my children mix up, or what they think is being said is not what really is being said. So funny what they say

My kids have all honestly said these

Tomatoes for Potatoes (they still get them mixed up) "Tomatoes and gravy."
crotches for crutches (We didn't correct his one for a while it was too funny)
6 white boomers sung as 6 white bloomers (from the Australian Christmas tune)
grill cheese are girl cheese at our house (the burnt ones are boy cheese)
"O Tannenbaum" sung distinctly as "oh tiny bum" (that was definitely sung for me ;P)
french immersion was french inversion (this took a while to correct, lol)
annoying and ignoring always getting mixed (One pestering the other in the back seat, "Mommy, she's ignoring me!")
pimple for Pupil (heard this one today)

A Baby in Another World

2009-12-05T09:13:00.002-06:00

Today you are going to read my dream diary. I actually don't have one but I've often thought I should keep one, I dream every night and often when I tell them to Ben he is sure I have the strangest ones. Be warned my dreams can be disturbing to some.

I was at a gathering and I was in the kitchen I think, then I turned to find a baby in a cradle, the baby was a new born and had not been feed since it's birth, it had been laid in the cradle and abandoned. The baby was still alive but was turning blue from hunger. I brought it to my breast and what do you know, I had milk for it... lots of milk. The babies face began changing from blue to a beautiful blend of African and White skin, the baby was happy and so was I. I was bonding with the baby now and I was pleased when the unknown biological mother said "You can have it". The gathering continued and I let others hold my baby. At some point while the baby was elsewhere I discovered it was time to feed again -a nursing mother can just tell. But the baby was not around so I poured my milk(yes I mean poured) into an ice cream pail but it was watery almost all water, my mom was there I was calling for her to get a second container because there was so much. Then it was over, the dog barged into the bedroom chasing the cat; beautiful baby, watering milk, gathering, all disappeared into another world, a distant time.

Not sure why I wanted to share that with you.
Some might say "Too much information!" and I say oh well, that's just the way my blog is, that's just the way I am :P.
I found something odd and wonderful about it.

Exploring meaning

2009-11-30T21:28:00.001-06:00

There was a good question raised last week in a comment and today I want to explore the answer. As I was blogging the things that stood out to me from the Church Planting Congress I found myself often using the phrase "Alerting people to the reign of God" a phrase I learned at the conference.

Here is the question,"Tell me more about 'the Reign of God'? What does that mean?"

Mike Frost was the one who got me hooked on this phrase -" Alerting people around us to the reign of God." The way I see it, here are some other ways I could say this - Show people the way of God's Kingdom - Be Jesus where we go.
Matt 10:7-9 Jesus tells his disciples "As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give."
And in Ephesians 1 Paul also tells of what we Alert people to " our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. ..he chose us in him before the creation of the world ...he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ ...his glorious grace, which he has freely given us ... redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, ...he made known to us the mystery of his will ....to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ."

When we who know the freedom, salvation, grace, forgiveness, peace, love, purpose, supernatural go out from our safe homes and places of gathering(ie.church) we may be the only Jesus that pre-Christians ever see. So we need to speak about what Jesus Kingdom brings and we need to let our lives show it.

I love the example that was giving of this; when we go to the theater there is always a trailer for a new movie coming out. Well our lives need to be a trailer for the kingdom. The full length movie is coming in the end of time but until then our lives show glimpses of what is to come, We need to be true representatives for the kingdom. We need to live lives that make people want to be there, lives that point people to Jesus.

So the "Reign of God" is evident in all his wonderfulness that we see happen and all that we know he has promised.

That is how I would explain it. Anyone have thoughts to add or questions?

#7 The people

2009-11-27T17:25:00.000-06:00

This is the last post of a weeks worth of blogging about what I learned/gained at Renov8 the Church planting Congress in Calgary.
I saved the best for last. The best thing in all this was the relationships that got built and the people I met face to face. This is one thing the Internet can not do as much as we try.
- I meet a couple with 6 boys, 2 of which were 4 month old twins. We only talked for 20 minutes, and likely will never talk again but in that time a bond is created. They are heading to Medicine Hat in Spring, Lord willing, to plant a church. I was blessed by meeting them.
- Sitting around a table with complete strangers, many of which are way out of my league in knowledge and practice of faith, but yet you know me I got right into the discussions regardless. I liked that discussion a lot, we talked about how to add to our numbers daily those who are being saved.
- Having a FUN late at night at Denny's
- Getting to know the EMMCers that came from Ontario and Belize and Mexico.
- The conversations on that long bus ride, some 16 hours I think, getting to know people from all over the province that care about God's mission for the church.
- I made a lot of friends, I'd like to list all the friends I made but I won't, afraid I'd miss some:)
- Plus Ben and I got to do all this together.

Thanks to all those involved in getting us there.

#6 Friend of Sinners

2009-11-26T20:00:00.001-06:00

Last session by Mike Frost - The number one non-negotiable in church planting is - Jesus is our reference point.
Jesus is the root and example of all we do, yes it's true what you learned at age 3 in Sunday School, the answer to all questions is "JESUS". Oh and in case you're wondering this is not just for labeled "church planters", I think we can safely say Jesus is the reference point for all of his disciples. Kinda a no brainer...right? .... but wait, read on.
Jesus was a friend of "sinners" and "Holy people" didn't like him very much.
I think the reason this point about Jesus being our reference point is so important is because we have this thing switched around, we the disciples of Jesus, too often, have become people-pleasers to the "holy people" and we have alienate ourselves from "sinners". The total opposite of what Jesus did. Why is this? I think one reason is we are afraid of looking bad, looking like a "sinner" to the other "holy people". The whole way we have identified ourselves as different from the worldly has often been associated to who we hang with and where we hang. We have this mental list of where it's "Ok" for Christians to be and where it's not and we judge people and forget- Jesus would have been in the Bar too.
So when we think of reaching people with grace and truth we have to be like Jesus, and not let the fear of what it might look like stop us from bringing the kingdom into places that "sinners" gather. Besides let's get over it, we're all sinners.

#5 Wagdi Iskander

2009-11-25T15:25:00.003-06:00

There can't have been a soul in the auditorium that was not captivated by Wagdi Iskander's testimony and challenge. In my opinion he was the most moving and challenging presenter of the week.
I was trying to summarize his testimony(struggling to do so)so instead I found this written about him which will give you an idea of his story.(read the full article here)

Iskander grew up in northern Sudan,.. Although he was not a devout Muslim in his youth, he said he harboured bitterness toward Christians, especially one Muslim convert who shared Christ with him.

"I used to hate him," Iskander said. "But he cared about me and showed me the love of Christ." ... After Iskander completed his university degree and began working as an accountant in Khartoum, his friend continued witnessing to him.

"I was looking for forgiveness, but I didn't know where to find forgiveness," Iskander says. "But when my friend showed me the love of Christ, I found forgiveness and became a Christian." As a result, he was estranged from his family; some family members think he is dead. He also spent more than three months in prison. Although he was released, two of his friends imprisoned in the same jail were killed.

He challenged us to reach out to Muslims, in fact he is so passionate for the church to grow among his people that he has resigned his life, even to martyrdom, to advance the mission of God. He said he'd die for the church! It was a very powerful ending. Many people could not exit the sanctuary, they remained in their seats, searching their hearts for even a shred of courage that Wagdi portrayed.

We are planning on getting the Audio recording of this session for the church library, so if any local readers have an interest in hearing this session for yourself check the EMMC Library some time in the near future.

#4 After all this was a church planting congress

2009-11-24T19:15:00.000-06:00

If you've been following my blog this week you'll know where I'm heading again today. I am sharing things I learned from the Church Planting Congress in Calgary, which was put on by Church planting Canada. The funny thing is, you may or may not have noticed, Considering the topic, I haven't actually said anything about church planting, well not specifically anyway. There are a few reasons for this, firstly, the congress was mostly focused on Church Planting in an urban setting(I found that hard to connect with, but I could connect it to my existing church and community involvement). Secondly, this conference blew my mind open as to what church planting is all about, so church plant talk doesn't look like it used to. The phrase was said -We used to know what church planting looked like, we Just took what worked well in one community and replicated it all over the place, but now it's different. To reach people we have to be relevant to their neighborhood. So the things I have learned may not look like church plant talk but they are... or so I've learned - this is all very new to me. There was a concentrated focus on being sent into your neighborhood as opposed to being sent to a new location, which of course was pretty much the only way I thought about church planting before the congress. This is not to say that going out to a new location is not needed, I'm just saying they didn't talk about it a lot. My mind was opened to how I can be a church planter right here and how I can use these things I've learned to enhance the church I belong to. One phrase I will leave you with today is Again from Mike Frost "We're not in the business of planting churches.(how ironic) We're not in the business of expanding our denomination. The Goal of Christian Mission is to Alert people to the reign of God." "God is the sent and the sending one and there is no such thing as an unsent Christian. Your mission is not inward."

I hope you could follow my ramblings today.

#3 Brain Numbing Risk Averse Society

2009-11-23T16:34:00.001-06:00

Some friends of mine from the Build a Village team are heading to El Salvador in a few days to stand in solidarity with their friends who have lost nearly everything in a recent disaster. When they told me about the risks and danger involved in this trip I was telling them not to go, "You are unwise. Use your head. Be safe" But they were certain God had called them no matter what the risks and dangers. The day after saying this to them I was sitting in a safe cushioned seat at the renov8 Church planting Congress, again listening to Juliet Kilpin. And she says "Fear is rapidly affecting the church." She was saying that God is not about safety he is about his mission, alerting people to his reign. Fear was a poison I had been letting in especially in this area of blessing my friend to enter the danger zone. ... I had forgotten. We live in a "brain numbing risk averse society", Juliet said and this is resonated with me because it is something I have long been ranting against. Society is becoming too dictating on the safety issue, too safe and too afraid to let us take risks, so much that it is slowly rendering us ineffective in God's mission and leaving us terrified to try anything new or different. I had been objecting to societies suffocating risk aversion yet unknowingly becoming part of encouraging it, which was made obvious as I let my fears rule my words for my friends going into El Salvador. You may not go to El Salvador or move far from your community but I want to encourage you, go out, take the risks, don't let fear stop you from reaching out with God's mission. That is what I was reminded of and will endeavor to live out. Even if we return in body bags let's go where God calls us.
Are you willing?

#2 Has the church become too important?

2009-11-22T22:36:00.004-06:00

One thing from Juliet Kilpin:
She was bold - "Sell your church building."

Her point is that we get too caught up in thinking that "church" only happens in the building and what happens in the building has to be restricted to certain activities. She points out that if we are limited by the building then that will hinder God's mission for the church(the body of Christ).
It was talked about that real church is in the community of believers sent to do God's mission, alerting people to the reign of God. Church can happen anywhere, on a school ground, a youth center, my home or yours, the restaurant for lunch, seniors center, the bar, the park, any place that God's people live and speak out God's mission and this can happen in multiple ways that reach the heart of a target group of people.
It seems so often that we Christians enjoy the safety and security of our building and don't get out in the trenches of life with people enough.
Did she really mean it(sell your church)? I think she did. I know it's not right for all but what is right is to rethink our church building use and how active we are outside it's four walls.

Do you think Juliet is crazy?

Renov8

2009-11-21T14:14:00.006-06:00

Just got back from 'Renov8' a gathering of church leaders learning to advance our understanding of church and our passion to be missional -- a Church Planting congress. It was a fabulous event, I was overloaded, inspired, crushed, energized, exhausted, challenged, opened, pulled deeper into Jesus and sent out. If you are a regular reader of my blog you know I do not like long posts, though in this case I am tempted to just write all my thoughts out in one splatter, quotes of Mike frost and Wagdi Iskander, plans that bubble in my head, and challenges I want to share ..... but No won't do it, I think I will try something different, for one week I am going to blog everyday something that stood out.

#1 Alerting people around us to the reign of God
Mike Frost was a very intriguing speaker, he says the goal of Christian Mission is to alert people to the reign of God, and he says it seems for too long Christians have reduced christian mission to evangelism, but it is more we must go out like Jesus proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. Announcing it and demonstrating it.
If I asked you(my Christian readers), what is your mission in life, what would you say? Is your mission grounded in God?

kids no flushy

2009-10-26T11:24:00.000-05:00

Are you one of those parents that complains about your kids not flushing the toilet? You nag your kids day in and day out, but nothing changes?
I am a creative thinker and this spreads into our parenting too. You sometimes just have to find different ways to get through to the kids
Here is one I did recently. You might wanna try it, but don't tell them it was my idea.

We have dog as most of you know and he is large, ok he's not only large but he's hairy, lots of fur around his chin and mouth area. Since he is so big, when the toilet lid is open it is the perfect bowl height for him to quench his thirst in. Even though he has his own water bowl right next to the toilet, for some reason the savage beast prefers the toilet water. Not such a big deal maybe if that water was constantly fresh and in a clean toilet bowl. But that's not at our house. Now for any mother(or father for that matter) who has spent the last decade of his or her life working at ways to keep the house somewhat clean and fresh smelling, like I have, would agree that when toilet odor walks into the room you are comfortably lounging in, it's enough to make you crack. Crack down on the problem.
The problem
- kids no flushy
- kids no put lid down
- dog does as dogs do(very disgusting creatures)
- dog drink poo water
- dog fur near mouth soaked in smelly water
- dog drip water all over house
- poo smell wafting through the house
- mom smells it
- mom sees dog with wet face
- mom not going to nag again
- mom has fresh idea
....and so I got up from my spot, grabbed a paper, a marker, and some strong tape. I wrote a note and marched to the bathroom with no announcement of my actions.

Fast forward 1 hour-- Seraya went dashing to the bathroom, hand in position to prevent leakage, she paused to investigate my vandalism of the toilet, while dancing the pee dance. In dismay she looked at me with disbelief "but,..but,... mom!"

The note read:

Do you need a Jillian?

2009-10-15T14:35:00.009-05:00

I want to tell you why I love the show "The Biggest Loser" If you don't know this show it is another reality show that takes up peoples real time(like mine and Ben's), with other peoples "real" lives. :).... Hey but Ben and I have had so much fun together watching a few episodes, plus I've got an insight from it. (If you don't like the show I may have just dropped a few rating points -but oh well)
On the show there are people who are obese - really,really over weight- and they want to loose weight but have lost the power to do it on their own. There are two trainers on this show who motivate them to exercise. Their names are Bob and Jillian. Jillian in particular is very firm with them ... that might be putting it little mild - She's mean. She'll work them until they cry, want to give up or throw up. She is totally insane all over them. I think the first impression you might get of Jillian is that she is really awful, but then you see how the show contestants start to change and actually go back for more of her. They want her to push them, they need her to whip them into shape because otherwise they wouldn't do it. This got me thinking about something, with my spiritual growth. I try so hard on my own to change things that I want to change but I don't, I come up with excuses and believe them. I feel like I need a Jillian to help motivate me to change those things I just am too lazy to change. If I had a Jillian on my back yelling at me and not letting me excuse my way out, time and time again, I think I would change. I also want to be a Jillian, I want to help people get real and affective in their faith and be right with God.
I've been a mentor to others and had mentors since Bible school and they've all been good and helped me grow but nothing like a Jillian, I think us Christians are just too nice to each other sometimes, we keep sympathizing with each others struggles, which of coarse is good but somehow in a loving way can't we get into each others space and face and maybe get ticked off enough to move from our comfort zones. I wonder how I would really respond to a tough mentor?
Now you know the only way Jillian has any credibility on the show is because she is in really good shape, right? I guess that is why it is so hard to be the one to get into some one's face on spiritual matters, because we ourselves have to be credible, walking the talk.
Face to face it's hard to be tough, besides some people would not appreciate this approach so maybe I won't go all "Jillian" on you in person but in this blog I can. It's really up to you if you come and read, and no one has to take it personally. :)
Question for you:
Do you sometimes wish you had someone who cared enough about your spiritual growth that they would get in your face on some issues?

Honest + Open = Vulnerable + Free

2009-10-09T09:19:00.004-05:00

Why? Why do I open up my life on the world wide web? Why open up to anyone at all? Is there a difference in how open one should be, blogging or in person? What kind of openness, vulnerability or transparency is appropriate or acceptable on a blog?
or Maybe if you don't have a blog, how vulnerable or transparent should you be with others?

I find it funny that I have a blog were I talk about personal things, things that leave me vulnerable. Why? Why on earth would I tell you, strangers and friends alike, all this stuff about me and my life? Then I sometimes wonder, Where do I get off thinking people actually care about my writings? Do I really have anything worth while to say? --- don't answer that! I guess you are the only ones who know the answers to why you read but for me, why do I write my stories here for the world to read? Why am I honest about what's in my life? I started thinking about this when I had someone tell me that they would never share openly on the Internet, they just read other peoples comments on facebook and blogs, but they don't let people know where they are at; not their strengths or their weaknesses. I felt sorry for this person because the best thing, the most freeing thing, I have ever done in my life is to share my greatest weaknesses openly. I think being real and honest about life is very freeing and it does leave you vulnerable at times, but I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not and wear a mask. For me blogging is part of this, it helps me feel free.
But that said I still don't write everything here.. **a grateful sigh is heard across the land**
This is how I decide what to write, I either am going about my day and I have a thought or an experience that I instantly know I need to blog or I know it's time to blog so I sit down, start writing until something worth posting comes to the surface. Not everything I want to say do I write ***another grateful sigh is heard across the land**
So I blog and that's for me .... Some of you don't, so why do you choose to be open and vulnerable with people in real life? Or why are you not open with people?(if you'll share) And some of you do blog, what about you? Why do you do it?
How vulnerable are you? Have you found that being real, becoming unmasked is freeing?

Christmas on the Brain

2009-10-05T09:36:00.001-05:00

I don't know if you've started thinking about Christmas yet, but it has been on my mind a little these days. We are trying to think creatively about our gift giving this year, gifts that don't add to the commercialization of Jesus Birth, and this takes a little more time than going with the allotted cash up to the nearest mega store just so there'll be "stuff" under the tree. Last year we found this site called Advent Conspiracy, their slogan is "Christmas can [still] change the world", and change it for the better, not the worse. Maybe your kids are like mine; I know my kids say the meaning of Christmas is Jesus and that that is why we celebrate but why then is it that they have already begun making their wish lists, wouldn't this show that subconsciously they have learned the meaning of Christmas is "more for me"? When did Christmas change to this and how do we change it back? These are some of the things Advent Conspiracy helps people work through. Check it out if you also want to change Christmas.
Advent Conspiracy links:
Advent Conspiracy
rethinking christmas

A Different Kind of King

2009-09-24T15:04:00.000-05:00

Ben has started a sermon series this fall, on the book of Matthew. Matthews stories says a lot about how we have a different kind of king than any earthy king or leader, different than the Jews were expecting. Jesus our savior and king comes to us and relates to us different than we expected.
Join Ben on his blog to go deeper into the study of Matthew, if your not local join in by following the blog and listen to the messages via the church web site(The messages are usually up mid-week).
This past Sunday Ben, conveyed to us that God does fulfill his promises and he is at work and this is what he taught from Matt. 1:1-17. If you're not looking it up I'll tell you this is the genealogy of Jesus. I was really amazed how Ben pulled such a great message out of what I normally skim over out of fear of boredom.
God is amazing all glory to Him.

September 18

2009-09-18T09:50:00.004-05:00

Here are some words from the Apostle Paul.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as the Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.
Eph 4:32-5:2

That is packed full of truth.
What truths are written in these words?
Here are a few I see
- We are loved by God
- Jesus is God
- We need to forgive each other

There are more, what truths do you see are written in this passage? Comment if you like.

Ok and one more unrelated thing. I need my praying friends. I've had a very difficult week in some regards and I know that many of you are my prayer warriors, so it is very useful sharing this here. I won't tell you details but I will tell you, you can pray for my mind to be clear and focused on what is truth in this situation and then, that I will be able to be thankful, no matter what and trust God. Thank you.

Truth and Beauty

2009-09-15T22:50:00.005-05:00

Last week I thought I was wrapping up the blog conversation on What women should wear, with my post on modesty but it turns out I have more to say on this topic. (lol no surprise to some) And I was thrilled with more comments to add to the learning-through-conversation.
This is something I learned from someone wiser than me.
When I was in bible school one teacher told me this about discipleship. She said "lead them to Jesus and let his holy spirit do his work."
She had been mentoring a young woman new to the faith, generally when this young woman came to the meeting she was dressed in what most of us would call immodest dress. The mentor did not point out that her clothing was not appropriate for a woman following Jesus, she just led her through scripture. She led the young women to learn the meaning of truth and beauty and did not just give her a "new law" to follow. Eventually this woman saw from the scripture they were studying that she needed to change the way she dressed.
This my friends is what I want to wrap up on. Learn about truth and beauty, learn it from Jesus and lead others to Jesus but don't tell them what to do, don't just lay down a new set of rules to follow. Lets encourage one another to follow Jesus very closely and open ourselves up to be taught by truth.
This song is very applicable here, at first it seemed confusing to me but I have come to love it for it's rich meaning. Be aware it is sarcastic.
New Law
by Derek Webb
Here are the lyrics or even better if you watch the youtube video

don’t teach me about politics and government
just tell me who to vote for
don’t teach me about truth and beauty
just label my music

don’t teach me how to live like a free man
just give me a new law

i don’t wanna know if the answers aren’t easy
so just bring it down from the mountain to me

i want a new law
i want a new law
gimme that new law

don’t teach me about moderation and liberty
i prefer a shot of grape juice

don’t teach me about loving my enemies

don’t teach me how to listen to the Spirit
just give me a new law

What’s the use in trading a law you can never keep
for one you can that cannot get you anything
do not be afraid
do not be afraid
do not be afraid

The artwork - I do not know the artists name but I chose this piece because of it's gray qualities and small bits of black and white - A little like the modesty conversation.

Modesty

2009-09-08T21:10:00.002-05:00

Modesty. What is it?
The dictionary says it is keeping within measure, propriety in dress.
Here are some comments posted after my previous blog post, all your comments were very much appreciated

"As a women of God I think we should dress modestly. And what I mean by that is, is breasts, butt crack, and belly should not be showing."
"Cleavage is okay, just no nipples."
"I can't imagine that they(women of bible times)would have been showing a lot of skin."
"I would say cover up - no breast showing, or cleavage, or short shorts etc."
"I think the body is a beautiful thing and should not be "ashamed" of it."
"We live in a sexually charged culture."
"Culture determines the answer(to what modesty is)."
"We oppose oppression and lust(strict dress codes and promiscuous) as Christians."
"We also need to teach our own children how to dress modestly at a young age. If we allow skimpy tops/clothing when they are young it will be acceptable when they develop and mature."
"We can dress modestly and still be fashionable."

Interesting that everyone commented that a woman should dress modestly, yet with differing opinions as to what that means. Your comments were full of food for thought, advice and challenges. I enjoyed the comments and conversations. So we all agree on modesty but the big question remains, what? What does that mean? What does modesty look like? Can we come to a conclusion as to how long a skirt? How thin a fabric? How thick of a strap? How tight a fit? How low of neck line is appropriate? The lines and measuring could go on and on. I just don't think we can answer these questions for everyone, at least not specific answers maybe that is one reason why it's so hard to talk about this topic, it can't come to a solid conclusion. I think the one conclusion that can be drawn is that it is important to be aware of how we dress and thinking and talking and listening can lead us to be wiser. I believe that each person has to decide, with God's help, what modest means to them. And this doesn't mean we can't challenge one another, for me personally just by writing this and talking about it with people I've been challenged and grown in my understanding of how I should dress. And that means it is as my wise husband said "conversation and prayer" are key.

How should a woman dress?

2009-09-01T09:25:00.013-05:00

"I don't know if I want to talk about this?"
"who's really entitled to talk about this stuff?"
"Should it really be an open discussion?"
"Isn't it each to their own?"
Me too, Us, yes and I don't know but I do know this ...

When I was a child my mom canned peaches every summer and she always put perfect halves into each jar, if a peach wasn't co-operating and it wouldn't halve nicely it went into the jam pot, she had high standards. In August I was at my parents for a fabulously relaxing holiday, since they live in the Okanagan I had to do it.... I got myself some peaches and I started canning. My mom was helping me and we cut those peaches any which way, small pieces, big pieces and odd shaped pieces, it didn't matter much. We started talking about the old days when it mattered what shape went into the jars and I joked with my mom that she'd lowered her standards. She said "well I guess I've gotten less picky as I've gotten older." We both agreed that there's nothing wrong with odd shaped peaches, we really don't care what their shape is because we know -they taste the same either way - really good. But the conversation continues on a different level. My mom taught me to halve the peaches, well it doesn't really matter to me so I teach my daughters that any shape is good, and in 20 years they will teach their daughters -just stuff it in the jar don't even bother with the stone. Ok so I don't really know what they'll teach their daughters and really it's just peaches but I hope you see the link to how we dress. How can us fashionable women keep from slipping down the worldly slope? We slowly, not so noticeably lower our standards and all becomes acceptable, everything if changed slow enough becomes normal. As Christians and Jesus followers what do we do? Where do we draw lines for ourselves so that we do not continue towards nothing, that is if it matters at all, maybe naked is ok? Are there really lines that can be drawn? I am not a line drawer so that'll be hard for me. What about church and the beach and at work and at the pool and running errands, do the lines move? How should a woman dress in light of living holy?

This topic needs discussion so please comment, if not just think about this question for yourself and your children and society as a whole.

Men you're also welcome to post your 2 cents. Because this topic can also affect you. What kind of standards do you think women should have?

photo by Dagobert

Keep in Jesus

2009-08-25T09:20:00.005-05:00

Jesus' words have a special place for us. They have a directness, like a spot light shines on them. For 50 days I am going to follow this Christian community blog in their study of the sermon on the mount. Maybe you need something to direct you back to studying Jesus' words again, or maybe you just want to fit this into what you already do with God. I will see how it goes.
Ikon Community

Either way, keep in the words of Jesus, because if you/me don't you lose your way and not even know it.

Back from Holidays

2009-08-17T21:15:00.007-05:00

So I was on holidays for the past month, we went to BC, it was so relaxing and rejuvenating. Mountains, oceans, beaches, valleys, zoos, cities, fireworks, family, friends, rivers, lakes, creeks, sailing, sliding, hiking, dancing, driving, concerts, camping, canning, fleas, bees, animals and trees. Whew, what a trip.

While on holidays I had a few questions come to my brain. I would like to explore these two questions/topics more in the next while but for now I will throw them out there and you can respond to them as you like with your thoughts or just ponder them on your own.

What kind of openness, vulnerability or transparency is appropriate or acceptable on a blog?
or Maybe a similar question you might ask for yourself if you don't have a blog is in regards to how open, vulnerable or transparent should you be with others?

The second question has pretty much nothing to do with the first.

.... Now, how to word this one...... it is in regards to women and clothing and how we dress and what is appropriate and what is not. How should a women dress in light of living holy? Does summer make a difference?

Those are the two questions swimming in my head these days.

As you can see, though I was on holidays my brain has not taken a break from pondering.
Oh and I have been doing an awful job at keeping a daily connection with God so far this summer. The whole thing about learning to be, to waste time with God, has pretty near bombed. I would feel more awful about it, but I don't thankfully because the glorious thing is each day is a new day and I am forgiven and today is a new day. Thank you Jesus! Today I did it.

Do I mean it?

2009-07-17T08:32:00.005-05:00

"Why do we sing songs we don't mean?" My 10 year old daughter has been listening too closely to the worship songs, .... During worshiping in song I've encouraged her to read the words and sing along and she has done this and become a beauty to watch and join with in worship but now what? She has noticed a problem, a discrepancy. .... we sing "I surrender all" but yet we don't really surrender all. .. give my everything ... with all my heart ...sing of your love forever ... we sing it but do we mean it? She asks because she sees within herself the age old battle between God and self. She is wise beyond her years to proclaim such insight into the human heart. I've often pondered on this myself and maybe you have too. Pondered, reflected, confessed and then asked the one we praise for the power to over come our failures.
Ariel's question should be our question for this week, bring it with you into this weeks worship service.
When you're singing to Jesus this week, ask yourself "Do I mean it?"

Thoughts from the weekend

2009-07-12T22:34:00.003-05:00

This weekend we had a very good speaker David MacFarlane at our EMMC Conference Gathering. He challenged and inspired. I am trying to find a way to capture what was said briefly .... I don't know for sure what to say because he said so much. Maybe I will do this...

This is what I am thinking and feeling-
- I love to talk with other Christians about faith and mission and Jesus
- I love to pray with people and I need to listen to the Holy Spirit more, it's so rewarding when I do.
- I want to plan community outreach, anyone want to brainstorm ideas?
- I want to share Jesus with people, up to this point I've really sucked at it.
- I want to move to Quebec and start a missional community and ...
- I want you to join us, could we really send a team out within the next 5 years?
- I can't wait till 2 years from now when we all meet again
- I saw the beauty in the gathering of Christ followers
- I am glad for a rest, it was a full weekend

I'm a human being

2009-07-02T09:38:00.002-05:00

Hold still ........stop what you are doing and hold completely still ....... just humor me and try it ............ keep breathing ............stay like that for minute ........... what do you feel? what do you notice?

I tried this recently, it was very interesting, I became keenly aware of my physical presence right were I was..... my mind and body were in the same place for a change.

This awareness of my physical presence along with reading and listening to a few interesting teachers, Henry Nouwen, Ben Klassen and Brennan Manning, have me on a summer plan.

To be a Human "being" ....32 years old and I have figured out, I am a human being. laugh if you like because this is funny but let me explain.

I almost always have to have something to do and I don't sit still for long, I have been acting like a human "doing". In Devotion time I have to read this, read that, pray for a list.... do it.

God is teaching me, I am his beloved and that is who I am. The beloved of God is my identity, in just being I am loved, that is my value, that is all. period. Eternally from the beginning and eternally in the future God loves me(and you)and the short stint we call life we get to learn to love God back but the whole time our value is based in our being not our doing.

The last post I wrote about "wasting" time(which is really the most valuable time) with my family, this is also what I am doing with God(or trying to do) just to be with God, not try to accomplish my list of devotional tasks but just to exist with him in the present moment. Giving God the pleasure of his true value on me being recognized and for me the pleasure of knowing it. I don't need to do anything to be valued, I just am, and learning to bask in that. (Amazing, an unbelievable truth)

I looked back at a question I asked you in May, in Make a Plan?

What do you do?
What will you do this summer to intentionally connect with God?

Nothing really wrong with the question but from what I've been learning since then I want to change my question, "How will you be this summer in order to connect with God?"

So my summer goal has turned quit different than I expected, from doing to being, Goal - to "waste" time.

Note - This "being with God" does not mean that the other structured things of a "devotional" time need be ignored. It is a balance.

Today

2009-06-20T20:11:00.004-05:00

Our day began early today, we were in the van on our way at 4:29am to see our friend Del off at the airport. There really isn't a lot happening at 4:30 in the morning on a Saturday just in case you ever wondered. With the purpose of the morning complete we were well into the day -6:00am; --you, dreaming of free clothing, caterpillars and blueberry milk, --us, filing into The Original Pancake House for some breakfast and caffeine. It's amazing how one can be so hungry at that hour when not fully awake. I self severed myself some coffee and ... hello world, I was awake. Caffeine changes everything ... and so does food! After breakfast we "wasted" the rest of the morning together. It was awesome. We found a park to watch the ducks and geese and Minos in the pond. Then to the playground, we were so early that we were the only ones there, so we played ... play structure tag, a combination between Robin hood and Sky High superhero imagination play(I love my family) and races ... it was all fun and games until I twisted my ankle. But that didn't really stop the fun because next we were off to the mall, still arriving before it opened. Ben might say this is were the fun ended but tough for him he has 4 of us femaloids, and a little shopping never killed a man(that is not a fact, just an opinion). After some successful shopping(Ben with only slight burning in his eyes) we arrived home at 1:45pm. Still time to lounge at the pool which made my ankle feel a lot better. Summer is so good!
I want you to take note of the "wasting time" ... I will post more about this soon. It's something I'm learning to do, which is ironic to say because I am trying to "be" more instead of "do".
Oh ya and I love 29 degrees. It's hot today.

Photo found at http://www.pdphoto.org/index.php

It's a Present

2009-06-11T08:52:00.004-05:00

It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colourful leaves and the cool air.
It was fall and it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was winter but it was the spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; to the freedom and respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted, to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged and it was twenty I wanted to be; he youth and free spirit.
I was retired and it was middle age I wanted; the presence of mind without limitation.
My life was over but I never got what I wanted.

Author unknown

I read this in a book a few years ago and it has reminds me to live more in the present.

We are all so good at complaining and seeing the grass greener somewhere else.

I've been complaining about this cool spring. What have you been complaining about?

Let's live in the present, whatever your present is, love it for it's good qualities. The next season or stage of life will come when it comes.

I've been Labeled

2009-06-01T21:03:00.001-05:00

Yap, can you believe it I've been labeled ... wanna know what it is? ..... of course you do, that's why you're reading this ...
I'm not sure I should tell you .... maybe I should make you write your guess....anyone wanna guess? .... but then again you've all been so quiet lately, you probably wouldn't say anything anyway...... What if I ask for it, and then find it wasn't what I wanted to hear? ..... maybe I should just tell you.

I wore purple, "but you're not old", I was told - I'm bold.

My opinion you should behold - "You're bold"

"Look her mamma wore that in the 70's, it's old" - "She's bold"

"What's the matter with you, you don't fit the mold" - "You're bold"

For Jesus I would rather die than fold - I'm bold

"You can't talk to him that way", they scold - I'm bold

Change the world or this injustic will make me explode - Let's be bold

I just can't stand for more religious mold, iiikkk - I'm bold

About my adulterous sin I told - I'm bold

Don't talk about me unless grace you unfold - I'm bold

My hands I will raise because to God I am sold - I'm bold

To Abba all glory, for my freedom is the reason I was told - "You're bold"

It's true I can be bold at times but you know sometimes I wish I was even more bold, bold to share the gospel or to pray with you the moment the spirit nudges, or to take a risk in ministry, to break new ground, or to be bold and confident in my words and questions and then other times boldness is not needed, because it's just time to be quiet (aka: shut-up), go home and drink a lemonade.

What I miss about Martha

2009-05-28T08:23:00.001-05:00

Being that we live 2000 km from my mom, Martha Theissen often was the local mother presence I needed and grandma to my girls. At her funeral I learned I wasn't the only one that felt that way. Martha was amazing and I took her for granted.

Here is what I loved about Martha.

- She started the little blessings nursery when my 2 year old twins needed a place to be during the church service
- She encouraged me to think of healthy snacks for my kids
- She always seemed to find the best items and deals at MCC
- She came with me to BC on a road trip so that I wouldn't have to do it alone
- She often brought gifts for the girls, even when it wasn't a special occasion
- She started the prayer meeting we have on Tuesdays
- She let my children have play dates and sleep overs at her house
- She was a good companion
- She was a good listener
- She made good soup
- She took the girls for walks around her pond and was especially concerned about their safety
- She was so patient with my girls
- She took time to read with my girls
- Her love for her Abba was very evident

Miss you Martha!

If you knew her too feel free to add to the list.

The End .... for Now

2009-05-25T11:19:00.006-05:00

When I asked Peter to write for my blog I don't think I knew what I was asking. But I asked him and he said yes and I was pleased. I think I was asking bigger things of him than I knew or he has admitted to.
Peter said in his intro that if you wanted to know why I asked him to do this you'd have to ask me, well since no one asked me I'm going to have to just tell you myself. I picked Peter because he was open with his life and I knew some of his story, I knew that Carol had died of cancer and left this earth way too young (in our earthly thinking) which was the way it was with my friend Martha Thiessen this past February, a few weeks with cancer and then she was gone, to soon it seems. I saw Peter had something to offer us in sharing with us his experience. I know that there was a link in my mind in asking Peter to share with us his journey in Carol's death and trying to understand, in the small ways we can, what Jake has lost in his wifes' death. It was for all of us to have a window into how God works in these times. I also asked Peter because I wanted us to know better how to walk with people who experience this, and to be challenged by his life lessons. After reading your sorry Peter I feel humbled that you said yes, I see that it wasn't always easy for you to do it. Thanks and for me I see that these goals and more were reached in your telling of your journey with and without Carol.

next time i'll tell more about Martha but for now .....

the final, but maybe not so final, (we might have you write again ;)) telling of Peter's journey ... now without Carol

Well, if you have been following along we have reached the end of my story. I thought I would leave you with some thoughts now that Carol has been in heaven for 702 days.

Lots of people have said to me: I can’t imagine living without ________. Indeed. Don’t bother. You can’t imagine the unimaginable. Turns out that God has made us remarkably resilient and we are able to get through unimaginable circumstances. Some (most?) people do this without God’s direct help – imagine that!

I don’t much like endings. I think I never really have but now they are NO FUN. After every event – either with friends or just by myself – the ending is the same. When the bedroom door closes – it’s just me – not the way I imagined.

My true Father – Abba – has revealed himself in remarkable ways. One example - It was a week or so after the funeral. I was home by myself. I was staring at the wind chime friends gave us after Carol’s Dad died. I had this thought – I would like a wind chime to remember Carol. Two days or so later a package arrived in the mail from my niece (all the way from Georgia) – it was a wind chime! I hung it on the corner of the house. I am amazed at how many times when I come home and it seems calm that I walk into the house and – I hear it. Amazing!

I continue to have remarkable experiences – things that most likely would never have happened to me if Carol were alive. People I hang out with – of all ages. Things I get to do (like write this blog). People who share with me deep life hurts and experiences. Friendships that have deepened incredibly. I have been able to explain the true Father to people in a way that God seems to be using.

For some reason I have almost completely stopped watching TV. I never really decided to – it just seems to have turned out that way. I spend lots of time reading – It seems I am mostly reading to learn more about my true Father. I have (finally) figured out a way of spending time in the word and learning from it.

Carols’ Grandma lived with her in her later years. She lived to be 100. I remember that often she used to say – oh, I miss my Johan so much. I remember thinking – lady, he has been gone for over 25 years – get over it already. I have a GREAT deal more sympathy for her view now. I think that I have a hole in my heart that will never be healed. I also think that my true Father is growing a bigger heart in me though.

Erik asked me recently if I felt ripped off. My answer is No, I don’t. I have not been angry with God or spent that much time agonizing over the unanswerable – why? Turns out that I agreed to this ending. If you are a follower of Jesus and married you did too. Some where I still have the hand printed copy of the vows that I said when we got married. Till death part us. You say that so easily – hurry up we have a honeymoon and life to get too. One day God comes calling – I want you to keep your promise. It is very shocking but this is the normal way God planned marriages to end. Sad, hurt, lonely? Yes. Ripped off – No.

Do I want to get married again? I knew you would ask. Hard question for me to answer. No, I don’t want to be (can’t imagine) alone for the rest of my days. I deeply desire and will need my true Father to guide me. More than getting married again I want to follow him. In EVERY circumstance.

Some advice:

I am convinced – your best moment is RIGHT NOW. Now is the time to say “I love you”, “I am sorry”, “Let me do that”, “Father forgive me”, “Wow, look at ____”. NOW is the time to act, to believe, to laugh, to enjoy, to change. We all get NOW. Tomorrow? That is uncertain.

Looking back now, I see that I seemed to face this life circumstance head on and in the open. Let me be VERY clear, losing Carol has been by FAR the hardest, darkest, most difficult part of my life’s journey – I hope to NEVER go through something like this again, BUT – I trust my Abba. I believe that God calls us to live in the open – the bad, the good and the ugly. We hide WAY too much stuff.
Finally this:
We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. If you are ever in the Langley, BC area - look me up - I would love to have coffee with you. You can reach me by e-mail at: peterawolfe@gmail.com<. Drop me a note.
In the Father’s love
Peter

"God’s Plan – not mine" by Peter

2009-05-18T15:11:00.004-05:00

If you have missed the other entries by Peter I recommend going back to read them before you read this one.
- 4 How do you live when time is short
- 3 life is good in a new direction
- 2 Part 2
- 1 Peter Begins

This is a hard one .... Peter said this was a hard one to write, thanks for your openness.

Father’s day weekend was a very special weekend. Friday night we spent with friends. Saturday was Kelly’s last shower and lots of family showed up for it. We also had a care group gathering that we attended on Saturday night.

The weekend before was special as well as we traveled to Calgary for a family wedding and spent time with my sisters.

Sunday morning was very special. Wes, our Pastor had asked if it was OK if the church prayed for us during the morning service. He asked us up to the front and a whole host of friends and people from the church joined us. I particularly remember the prayer of a friend – Ev - who was also wrestling with cancer - who prayed out loud Ps 40:1-3. Wes anointed her with oil and prayed that God’s light would guide her and I.

As we talked about this prayer time in the afternoon Carol so desired that God would heal her.

Carol had planned and prepared a simple meal that she cooked for all us. After supper we all went down stairs and looked at slides of old times – you know all those good family pictures that bring such great memories.

It was after the kids had all left that God answered. We were getting ready for bed when Carol grabbed her head and said oh, oh, it hurts so bad. I helped her into bed to rest; soon she had to vomit from the pain. The night was a blur. I remember being on edge but Carol seemed to be in her normal sleeping patterns.

It was in the morning that I could not wake her up. I called my friend Elaine and 911. The first responder arrived in minutes – he walked from up the street. Soon all the medics were present and took her to emergency.

Once we arrived they said she needed a CT scan (funny how you can have one in minutes when normally it takes months). The ER doc told me the bad news. She had a massive brain hemorrhage and there was no brain activity. Just her lower brain was keeping her breathing. [Turns out that another place OM likes to move to is the brain. She never had a brain scan – something she mentioned more than once. There must have been a tumor that burst.]

Now I had to do the hardest thing in my life yet – I had to call Rachel, Erik and Kelly and tell that the time had come – way sooner than we expected – it was time to say goodbye to their Mom.

Carol was built like her Grandmother who lived to be 100 and her mother – she just turned 95 – her body was strong and not ready to yield to the call of eternity just yet. They moved her into a private room and said we needed to wait – strong bodies can live like this for awhile.

Looking back, the next 5 days were truly holy days. I now recognize that during those days the veil between heaven and earth was thin. We had so many visitors come by and sit by her bed. People who cared for her and for us. We had great times visiting and sharing. The girls actually finished assembling the wedding programs.

Family came and said good-bye; people brought us food; truly a special time. Her brother was out of town and expressed to his wife that he would really like to see Carol one more time. They landed on Friday night and decided on the drive to not go home but straight to the hospital. Rudy walked into the room and said “hi Carol, I’m here.” Ten minutes later she entered heaven and the veil closed.

We buried her in the cemetery in our home town. A very quiet place where you can see the two mountains that dominated our view growing up. That is where her body lies– waiting. Her soul? Her soul is soaring in the heights of heaven.

Carol loved to sing and I am sure she is part of that great chorus singing …

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."

See you next time.

Make a Plan

2009-05-15T11:13:00.001-05:00

I want to make a plan for the summer, I don't want to let another summer go the way most do.... very little time taken to focus on God. I need to make a plan of action for my spiritual growth and connection to my Abba. I know that nature is a good way to commune with my creator, I love those times camping or out doors soaking in the mosquitoes or visa versa..LOL ... I mean soaking in the sun, ..:) but seriously nature can't be the only one, taking time to listen and learn, read and pray is key to growth.

What do you do?
What will you do this summer to intentionally connect with God?
Maybe some of your ideas can help me, and others who read.

If you too need a plan then think about this, before summer is over and you let you relationship with Jesus slide.

Not For Granted

2009-05-13T11:06:00.001-05:00

I have a challenge for you, and I hope you've been following Peter's story as he tells of His journey with Carol and her cancer. I have been struck by the thought that Cancer knows no boundaries in fact no illness or accident for that matter knows a boundary. We can't take our spouse for granted. My challenge for you, is to tell you husband that you love him, tell your wife that you love her. If you are letting the little stuff suck the life out of your relationship stop and refocus. That's my marriage advice for the day.

Cold in May

2009-05-09T02:03:00.000-05:00

It's supposed to be spring here in Manitoba but alas we are having cold weather. (Am I complaining about the weather on my blog? Yes!)

Kids are funny!

Joelle came home from school the other day and announced emphatically "We had all out door recess'!" at first I wonder why this strikes her as notable but soon realize it's the around zero temps, which to her seemed comparable to the -43 temperatures, at which the school keeps the kids inside for recess'. It's not -43 but it sure feels close too it when your expecting warmer.

Today it snowed.

Abba, We need the heat turned up!

how do you live when your timeline is short

2009-05-08T09:07:00.004-05:00

This is part 4 of Peter's telling of his journey with Carol

Hi again. I thought I would go back and re-visit a question I asked last time:

So how do you live when your timeline is short – measured in months?

I talked a bit before about how Carol felt but let me explore a bit more. How do live when someone tells you that you have a fatal disease and there is no effective treatment?

I know a lot more now about the cancer that invaded her. When we met with the Ocular Oncologist back in 2000, she asked: how come you were not being checked? Checked? Carol was born with some dark spots on her eyeball and sometimes had a bluish tinge around her eye. We learned this condition is called the Nevus of Ota. Check out a picture here – Carol’s left eye looked very similar. Ocular melanoma occurs in about 3-5 people per million; if you have the Nevus of Ota it occurs in about 1 per 100 or so. Who knew?

Normally after 5 years or so in remission patients are declared cancer free and any re-occurrence is then treated as a new cancer. Not so with ocular melanoma. Turns out that 50-80 percent of people will develop a metastasis – cancer spreading somewhere else - in their lifetime. Turns out that almost invariably it first re-occurs in the liver.

Turns out that the medical profession is way behind in its understanding of treatments for metastatic OM. I have since discovered that, while there is no cure, there are a number of treatments which can potentially extend ones life. I know of people 2+ years after diagnosis and still living very well. A couple of docs in the US specialize in treatments. Who knew?

Remember the verses (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20) that God gave us about the importance of Today? One day Carol turned to me and said that those verses weren’t working for her any more – she needed more hope.

My Mom gave us a book called “Cancer and the Lords Prayer” by Greg Anderson. He describes the power of this prayer of Jesus to heal our lives – from God’s perspective. Somehow this simple short book connected with Carol and brought her closer to her true Father and filled her with hope for each day. In fact, I still have on my fridge the copy of the Lord’s Prayer she printed out.

One day as we were driving she said, “I have never been able to picture heaven as a place I would want to go to – but yesterday God gave me a vision”. She described how she had this picture of this most beautiful trip – better than any we had taken – that she was going on. The trip was going from one beautiful place to another even more beautiful and it lasted forever. She said: “I can go to heaven if it’s a place like that”.
She (obviously) was filled with fear as well. She did not really talk with me about her fears that much. That was reserved for her very best friend Elaine – her friend since she was 15. I have discovered that there were lots of conversations about darkness and fear that I was unaware of.

One day Elaine woke up with a strong feeling that she should buy Carol a book. It was called “Hinds Feet on High Places”. It is the story of someone called Much-Afraid and her exciting journey to the High Places. Carol just ate this book up. She loved it and it just calmed her soul.

One of her fears was of pain. I know that she was afraid of what pain awaited her. Her true Father knew this too and he had a plan.

That comes next time. See you then.

Peter

You are welcome to comment

Life is good – in a new direction - by Peter

2009-04-27T15:51:00.005-05:00

intro - Something new
part 1 - Peter Begins
part 2 - Peter Part 2
.... and now he continues his telling .....

We had a great vacation in 2006. We spent a week with friends in Kanasikis Country. I saw this t-shirt that just seemed to describe my life so I bought it – “Life is Good”. After that Carol and I headed for Glacier and Yellowstone National parks. Yellowstone is such a diverse and unique place.

On the way home Carol suddenly got this really high fever that lasted all day. We stopped in this small town for night and after a good nights sleep she felt much better. Hmmmm. She had developed a problem with acid reflux which had prevented her from singing - truly her physical gift. In the fall something just didn’t seem right and she eventually went to the doctor to get checked out. An ultra-sound was scheduled for after Christmas as the doc thought likely she was having gall bladder problems. She had another bought of high fever in January 07 that kept her from substitute teaching, it lasted a week or so – no reason found.

The night before the doctor was to review the results with her, Carol came to me and said look at this – showing me something on the web about possible causes of unexplained high fever – liver cancer. I put that out of my mind (well not really – how can you – but I tried). I came home early as her appointment was the last one of the day – my cell phone rang at 5 PM. It was Carol – she said: “Peter, it is the worst possible news – there are two tumours in my liver”. I hung up and shrieked at God – “What are you doing?! How am I supposed to live without her? I can’t do this!!” We just clung to each other when I got home. What now?

People generally wanted us to take the most optimistic option – preliminary results; don’t really know exactly what it is; stay positive. Somehow we both just knew. Six months earlier we had downed tools at church and walked away – asking God to give us a new direction. Now it had arrived. We both had the sense that God had other options in mind besides a miracle cure.

A biopsy confirmed that it was indeed Ocular Melanoma spread to her liver. The oncologist talked to us for 2 hours but basically said – go home, keep on taking Tylenol, come back when the pain gets too bad. OM metastasis has no standard treatment options that are at all effective.

So how do you live when your timeline is short – measured in months?

I was reading in Ecclesiastes at the time and had bumped across some verse that seemed to be God’s message for us. They are still on the fridge and taped to my monitor at work. Check them out – Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 – “Make the most of what God gives”. The key word is today. Each day is God’s special day.

Carol kept a journal and this is what she wrote on February 16, 2007.
God, when you start thinking you are going to die it bowls you over. Then another strange emotion which is unnamed takes over. Acceptance and? So I ask you to keep my mind in order. Keep it on the track of wisdom, keep me always aware that you are in charge and that’s a very good thing. I love you Father. I need you every step of the way.

We started doing things together. First up was a trip to Palm Springs with our friends.

Wow, we had a great time visiting and exploring. Here we are in Joshua Tree National Park.
Carol’s family came over to visit. This is Carol with her niece’s baby daughter. Two people. Two ends of life’s journey.

We got organized and took the whole family off to Hawaii. We had always planned to do that – always seemed off in the future.
This was, I think, one of my life’s highlights – Carol would agree.
Just a super time to spend with our family. We had rented a house right on the beach about 45 minutes out of Honolulu.

We could relax and eat together, sun bath on the beach or go sight seeing.

We went snorkelling, sailing, visited Pearl Harbour, Waikiki beach, Diamond Head, Banzai Pipeline (home of 70ft waves).

We took in a luau one evening – I think it was my birthday actually.

I think you will agree – not bad looking after 27+ years of marriage - don’t you think?!

God did something amazing on this trip actually. As we were flying Carol turned to me and said – this might be a big mistake – I am really uncomfortable.
The tumours in her liver caused pain and swelling and sitting too long was not pleasant. Our bed in Hawaii seemed way too hard.

The amazing thing? Every night in Hawaii? She slept like a log and had no discomfort or pain AT ALL!! She was able to do everything we all did except the hike up Diamond Head.

I think I will leave you here for today – see you soon.

Peter Part 2

2009-04-16T23:01:00.005-05:00

Here is the next entry from Peter ( Need some back round? Read the Intro and Peter Begins)

A Changed Life

Twenty years actually goes by pretty fast. Those first twenty years of married life were about getting to know each other, starting and raising our family, getting tied up (or is it down?) with stuff like a mortgage, working like crazy, doing church stuff; Carol taught Sunday school, sang in the choir, we managed to become deacons, led a care group. Like I said last time, lots of time and energy doing things for the Father; not much time being with the Father.

Mark Buchanan in his book Your God is too Safe calls this living in the borderlands. Not really fully with the Father and not against him either (well at least not obviously). I think most of us fall into this place way too easily; it is such a comfortable place to be.

Change happened slowly and largely un-noticed (at least by me). You can see it on the chart from my previous entry. Something happened that has changed me forever. A couple of things actually. The first occurred when I took a position as our church leader (NO, not a pastor!). One of the Pastors asked how she could pray for me. I also started attending Saturday morning prayer times. Turns out this changed my life – somewhere along the way I fell in love with my Abba, my true Father.
Now that I think back on it – quite amazingly – Carol was going through the same experience. What a gift to a married couple to both be moving toward the Father – together!

Speaking of gifts, I now realize that we both received one. I was given the gift of being able to strongly relate to my Abba through worship. I get such strong messages from him by worshiping him – mostly through music but not always. I remember when it happened. We were having Thursday evening services during the summer (and we got the weekends free!) We had a visiting band playing. I remember the leader just inviting us to enter the Holy of Holies and worship. Something flung open in my heart and ever since – well if you see me, my eyes are closed and tears are flowing – don't be alarmed – just me and my Abba having a conversation.

I discovered after we got married that when Carol thought of her father she became anxious and was really unsure of her relationship with him. He had the power in her life to reduce her to tears by saying just a few words. Slowly, over the course of years together, we learned how to disconnect her father’s words from having that power in her life. She became able to see past the rough edges of her father’s personality and look deeper and see the love that was there all along.

After her Father died, Carol received her gift while we were visiting a church. A woman started describing the incredible love of the Father for his children. The true Father opened Carol’s heart and the incredible, hard to fully grasp, too good to be true but isn’t, the love of the true Father for her; just for her; poured into her. In the years that followed this love sustained her; drew her ever closer to her true Father and spilled out of her.
In her own words she described her life’s journey:

“I began a relationship that at times was close, many times distant and often confusing. I experienced many things that at times made me wonder how much I really wanted this relationship. I came to realize how much God actually loved me as I am. This realization gave me a joy and purpose in my life. My relationship with the God of creation is worth living for.”

One more thing happened. In July of 2000, Carol phoned me at work after a visit to her optometrist and said: there is a lump in my left eye. One week later we were in the office of an ocular oncologist who said: You have a malignant tumor about the size of the tip of my little finger in the lining in the back of your eye. A very rare form of skin cancer. Skin cancer – in your eye – who knew?!

There are a number of treatments; if your tumor is small enough they use radiation. Hers was, so one day she checked in the hospital for treatment. They took her eyeball out, sewed a radioactive disc to the back of eyeball – carefully aligned so it would radiate the tumor, put her eyeball back in and 24 hours later we came home. She lay on the couch for a week while the radiation did its thing, then back to the hospital to do the reverse. Simple, eh?

The radiation did its intended job of killing the tumor slowly – we went back every six months or so for a checkup – always a bit anxious – the news was always good, tumor dying, not much leakage. The radiation also had the side effect of largely killing her vision in her eye – she eventually was reduced to seeing around the edges and then mostly in black and white.

Life carried on and you know what, it got better. Let me tell you – being married to your beloved, your soul mate, it actually gets better.
This is a picture of our family on Erik’s wedding day – our 25th wedding anniversary year. No, you are not mistaken, a VERY good looking family – and this before digital cameras!

A couple of thoughts to leave you with:

1. When God comes calling, let him have his way. Borderland is not any way to live your whole life.
2. I never could have imagined back in July 1979 the depth and width and breadth that would make up being married to my beloved. Stay the course, IT GETS BETTER PEOPLE!
3. I believe in hope that every marriage can be rescued. That the Father can and will restore love even when it is lost.

See you next time.

What AM I doing?

2009-04-06T08:41:00.012-05:00

I was telling a friend the other day how I have a certain time of year when I reevaluate my goals and purpose in life. Ask the "why?" questions. I don't really choose it it seems to choose me. I ask it of myself but it feels like something outside of me is asking me. "What ARE you doing HERE? Why did you move away from family to be in this place? Why do you stay?" maybe it's God asking? I've written about this before. And here I am 2 years later and I am at the ..."What ARE you doing HERE? Why did you move away from family to be in this place? Why do you stay?"
.....
I know somethings it's not, it's not to live the "good life", have a "good" day and survive Manitoba, yet that is what most of my days appear to be about. About surviving.. at least it seems this past winter was (Ok and I'm talking about the overall focus not the obviously necessary daily routine. and yes I do want to have a good day but I hope you get my point that it isn't, or shouldn't be, focused on ME)
Really I appreciate this "question time" because for as long as I can remember mediocrity has a bad taste to me, I'd rather be weird and foolish to this world than mediocre ... and yet I don't seem to get it because I slip into a groove and what I don't want to do I do ... yap we've heard this before, Paul wrote it in his letter to the Romans "I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."
.....
So what now?
....
I guess I ask Abba to show me,... to inspire me,.. to encourage me, to teach me, to refocus me, to reduce me, to increase Him, so I can serve Him, know Him, love Him, bless Him, be focused on Him.

Do you question too? Do you live to survive? Do you ask why?

(More from Peter in a few days)

Peter Begins

2009-04-02T08:51:00.009-05:00

This is the first post in a series of writings from Peter Wolfe about his life, just for us, see here for the intro.

My Normal Life

I am currently just short of 54 years old. I was married for 10,192 days, or 27 years, 10 months and 22 days – about 10,192 days too short in my view. I always knew my wife Carol. We grew up in the same small town, Yarrow, BC. There is a picture of us sitting side by side in Sunday school when we were 4 or 5 years old. Except for one year, we went to the same public and private schools thru graduation. We both graduated from UBC, Carol as a teacher in ‘79 and I in Engineering in ‘81.

We never really spent any time together until university days. Carol’s best friend married my best friend – both also from Yarrow. They arranged us spending time together and soon the sparks flew. I fell for Carol hard – I still remember lying on my bed in my dorm and feeling this flush come over me and realizing – I LOVE HER - and then feeling panic because that meant marriage and I wasn’t ready!
We must have been fast learners because we started dating in September ‘78 and by Christmas we KNEW. We got married on July 28 1979.

This is Carol’s UBC grad picture … my favorite early picture of her.

After I graduated from UBC we went off to Europe for what I thought was a vacation but Carol had a plan – her name turned out to be Rachel. After Erik then Kelly were born – 3 years, 3 kids – we put a stop to all that and began the life journey of being parents – what a pleasure that was. All three are now married – and NO, no grandkids (yet).

This is a picture of my family. Left to right is Holly & Erik (son), Conrad & Kelly (daughter), me, Rachel (daughter) & Chris. Yes you are right – a very good looking family.

I have worked in the software development field in positions of increasing responsibility for almost 30 years now. I can truly say that I love what I do. Most days, going to work is something that I enjoy.

My journey with my true Father began when I was very young – I think I was 6 or 7 years old and “gave my life to Jesus” at home after one of those fire and brimstone and “just as I am” evenings we used to have at church. Church was always part of my life growing up as was true for Carol. Looking back I think one of the reasons for the joy on earth that was our marriage was because we were similar in lots of ways including our spiritual journeys. This picture shows a graph of my passion for the true Father over the years. As you can see there was a flat line period. The jump came when I met Carol – on Christmas Eve ’78 I decided to say yes again to following Jesus. The next 20 or so years, well, there was lots of energy spent on doing things for the Father but not much energy being with the Father. That’s part of the next installment.

So what would you do if you could have your life to do over? You know, start again, a new beginning? From this period of my life I would:

Spend less time at work. Carol said she used to sit with the kids by the window and say “Daddy, we need you”, waiting for me to come home. Work matters, just less than we think.
There are a few arguments I wish I could replay. In ALL cases I was the stubborn ass. I wish I could have those back and say “I was wrong” … very powerful words, for men particularly I think.
Mostly, I imagine falling in love with my true Father much sooner.

See you next time.

Peter

Something New

2009-03-28T20:00:00.006-05:00

I am thrilled about this one -- Cindy street has got something exciting and different for you this spring. I've been sharing my personal experiences and challenges with you for several years now. Well this is going to be different, it is going to be an "event" that will take a season to complete. And for once it won't be about ME.**a sigh of releif is heard in space** ... One of you, one from among you, one of my faithful readers is going to be a guest on my blog, some of you know him.... I have asked Peter Wolfe to write about his life journey, and I'm going post it here. I won't say too much about him because first he's going to say it, and second I don't really know much, though I do know that it'll be great to follow his story.

(I hope you don't mind Peter I snapped this photo off your facebook:) I like this photo of Peter because he's looking back and that is what I've asked him to do for us.

In a few days I'll post the first segment but till then, this intro:

Hi, my name is Peter Wolfe. I call Cindy my friend. I have known her (and Ben) since way back before there were twinkles in their eyes when they saw each other. Turns out I live beside Ben’s Dad – go figure. Cindy asked me to share my story with y’all – you need to ask her why. So here goes....

Abba is Reminded

2009-03-24T04:25:00.007-05:00

Interesting what is really said about the rainbow in Genesis 9 it wasn't really a reminder for humans but a reminder for God. "The rainbow will appear in the clouds, and I will remember my covenant with you and with all living creatures. When I see the rainbow in the clouds, I will remember the eternal covenant between God and every living creature on earth."

I forget a lot of things, I know I need reminders ....
Abba needing a reminder- is a funny thing, it makes me smile, I like God....Can he really forget?
Either way it's plain to see he wanted a reminder, so he made one.
Somehow I feel I can understand God better knowing this piece of information, and in a strange way I can understand myself better like I've been able to connect with myself- the made-in-God's-image self... I guess that is the point of reading the bible- to know God better, to connect with Him and to know ourselves in the process.

When God sees the rainbow He is reminded of his covenant, "never again will a flood destroy the earth"

When I see the rainbow I'm going to remember how near God is, and how we both need reminders.

The Earth will never flood, that's a promise ... but he didn't say anything about the Red River Valley.