To Be Vulnerable

If you have followed my blog over the past 7 years you will know how I started out being vulnerable and real, I tried my best to give you the real picture of what Cindy's street/heart, life lessons and silly moments were like. If you've stuck with me you'll also know how sporadic I have been in the past 3 years and how private I have become. I have tried sometimes to make a come back but I have failed most of the time..  alas my die hard fans ....... don't despair!(or is that despair) This is not a "I quit post", though that might be a good idea instead of stringing you along for another year. This is a I-am-crazy-and-I'm-trying-again post. At least for the next 40 days. I am taking a challenge for God to blog everyday for lent. Lent is the religious word for the days from Ash Wednesday to Easter when people give-up something to gain a closeness of The Spirit, it starts tomorrow and takes us to Easter. So this is 40 days, minus the Sundays. .... Count it you sceptics, I don't have to blog on Sunday's! 

I sense God asking me to be more vulnerable and real; and this is one place for me to do this. Honestly I fear that I will fail and I am nervous as to what vulnerable means for me in the next 40 days. What will pour out onto these pages now when I am really honest and real? Will you find out I am insecure? A selfish wife and a lazy mother? I'm a spiritual mess and I have pretty near nothing but the basics figured out? What will you learn about me? 

While you get the voyeuristic high I get a nervous twitch. 

One of the reasons I see 'real' as important is because I believe we are all struggling and when we are vulnerable we help each other. When I find a kindred struggler in this life I feel comfort, I feel courage to go on. So, through this blog, if I am that for you then I find it is worth it. Anyway seems I'll give it a shot and see what happens again.

Or maybe I will give you a chuckle and that is worth it too.

Enjoy!

 

Or maybe this will be the most boring blog of the year, let's see what happens.

 

 

Honest + Open = Vulnerable + Free

Why? Why do I open up my life on the world wide web? Why open up to anyone at all? Is there a difference in how open one should be, blogging or in person? What kind of openness, vulnerability or transparency is appropriate or acceptable on a blog?
or Maybe if you don't have a blog, how vulnerable or transparent should you be with others?

I find it funny that I have a blog were I talk about personal things, things that leave me vulnerable. Why? Why on earth would I tell you, strangers and friends alike, all this stuff about me and my life? Then I sometimes wonder, Where do I get off thinking people actually care about my writings? Do I really have anything worth while to say? --- don't answer that! I guess you are the only ones who know the answers to why you read but for me, why do I write my stories here for the world to read? Why am I honest about what's in my life? I started thinking about this when I had someone tell me that they would never share openly on the Internet, they just read other peoples comments on facebook and blogs, but they don't let people know where they are at; not their strengths or their weaknesses. I felt sorry for this person because the best thing, the most freeing thing, I have ever done in my life is to share my greatest weaknesses openly. I think being real and honest about life is very freeing and it does leave you vulnerable at times, but I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not and wear a mask. For me blogging is part of this, it helps me feel free.
But that said I still don't write everything here.. **a grateful sigh is heard across the land**
This is how I decide what to write, I either am going about my day and I have a thought or an experience that I instantly know I need to blog or I know it's time to blog so I sit down, start writing until something worth posting comes to the surface. Not everything I want to say do I write ***another grateful sigh is heard across the land**
So I blog and that's for me .... Some of you don't, so why do you choose to be open and vulnerable with people in real life? Or why are you not open with people?(if you'll share) And some of you do blog, what about you? Why do you do it?
How vulnerable are you? Have you found that being real, becoming unmasked is freeing?