Saturday Thoughts on Lent

Why do lent?

 I recently counted - I’ve been doing lent for 14 years, I may have skipped a year or two in the middle somewhere, can't say for sure. But, wow 14 - makes me feel old... I didn’t grow up “lenting”, I didn't even know what lent was until I was an adult and when I first heard about it I thought it was just for Catholics. I am not sure what got me to start, but must have been some encouragement from a teacher or a friend because we were at Bible school that first year. The first thing I lented was chocolate. I was pregnant with Ariel and it was not easy. I remember being at the prenatal class when someone brought chocolate chip cookies for everyone and I couldn’t have any because of the chocolate, well actually I wanted the cookie so badly I nibbled on the cookie avoiding the chocolate chips and eating the cookie parts, now that is desperate(and talk about taking a loop hole).  I am not exactly sure why I have a solid memory of this, it could be because I was ticked with myself for trying to be so ‘religious’ and there I was 'suffering'  or if I remember it because I formed a solid thought toward God in that moment..... Let's go with the second.

I do lent because it turns my thoughts toward God more often during the day. Lent is a fast and I say why not use a historical fast time such as lent to do what Jesus tells me to do. Sometimes I have reached the end of the 40 days only to find myself saying - "I'm glad that's over." It's not always easy but it's not a waste if in anyway I was turned toward God.

 During this lent season, as I shared on Wednesday, am taking on blogging each day. It seems strange but it is a sacrifice because I was getting so comfortable not being vulnerable and sharing my life and thoughts and challenges and for me it's important to be real and transparent, and my blog is a place for me to do that. Each time I blog I feel I keep the door of my heart open and it seems the mask layers can't build up as fast.

Are you lenting?

Why do you lent?

 

To Be Vulnerable

If you have followed my blog over the past 7 years you will know how I started out being vulnerable and real, I tried my best to give you the real picture of what Cindy's street/heart, life lessons and silly moments were like. If you've stuck with me you'll also know how sporadic I have been in the past 3 years and how private I have become. I have tried sometimes to make a come back but I have failed most of the time..  alas my die hard fans ....... don't despair!(or is that despair) This is not a "I quit post", though that might be a good idea instead of stringing you along for another year. This is a I-am-crazy-and-I'm-trying-again post. At least for the next 40 days. I am taking a challenge for God to blog everyday for lent. Lent is the religious word for the days from Ash Wednesday to Easter when people give-up something to gain a closeness of The Spirit, it starts tomorrow and takes us to Easter. So this is 40 days, minus the Sundays. .... Count it you sceptics, I don't have to blog on Sunday's! 

I sense God asking me to be more vulnerable and real; and this is one place for me to do this. Honestly I fear that I will fail and I am nervous as to what vulnerable means for me in the next 40 days. What will pour out onto these pages now when I am really honest and real? Will you find out I am insecure? A selfish wife and a lazy mother? I'm a spiritual mess and I have pretty near nothing but the basics figured out? What will you learn about me? 

While you get the voyeuristic high I get a nervous twitch. 

One of the reasons I see 'real' as important is because I believe we are all struggling and when we are vulnerable we help each other. When I find a kindred struggler in this life I feel comfort, I feel courage to go on. So, through this blog, if I am that for you then I find it is worth it. Anyway seems I'll give it a shot and see what happens again.

Or maybe I will give you a chuckle and that is worth it too.

Enjoy!

 

Or maybe this will be the most boring blog of the year, let's see what happens.