Sunday, October 16, 2011

Old?

What happens when you get old?
Do you feel it?
Do you feel it the moment it happens?
Is there a moment when you say "a minute ago I was young and now, in this minute I am old?"
When does it happen?

I was wounded in my confidence a few years ago and I did not recover quickly. I felt hurt and defeated and it lived as an under current in my life for a long time, even into today. It's really why I stopped blogging weekly so long ago. I doubted my place in the blogging world. As a kid I would have been over it the next day, as an adult I was set back. I'm disappointed that I was so affected I wanted to let it roll off more easily I wanted to not care. But I did. Maybe it's big people big problems or maybe - I got old.

Is old inevitable?
Is old a date in the future ... or in the past.
Some might say it's a process.
Be careful --- Don't confuse old with age
Age is the inevitable second by second journey we all live
Old is a choice maybe?

When I look back over the last few years I see I acted old in the whole deal, I did not choose to be like a child. I can blog when I feel free like a child, I can't blog when I feel old. Young is willing to be vulnerable and take risks, old is fearful and concerned about the can'ts and the worry that respectable people don't let others know too much about what's going on inside and certainly do not air their dirty laundry.Old is a thing that happens when young is no longer practiced.I don't want to be old.

5 comments:

Peter said...

Awesome blog. THANKS for sharing your heart. I (currently) don't feel (or act :) old. I need to ask people n=in my live who are advanced in age when/if they feel old. Maybe wounded in confidence equals old?

Blessings!

Ben said...

I love that statement "Old is a thing that happens when young is no longer practiced."
Need to keep up practicing being young.

Anonymous said...

Hi Cindy. Glad you're back. You are one of the most awesome people I know. Everybody gets their heart broken in this old world. I wish it weren't that way, but better the "victorious limp" ( B. Manning ) than giving up.
Dad Darryl

I'll have a Coke please said...

I agree with Ben. And I know there's a difference between being young and being childish. Sometimes it's in the eye of the beholder. But often the heart knows the intent. I know I'm getting older. I just refuse to grow up.

Sister C said...

I like that "victorious limp" --that's what I have. Anyone can be young on these terms - young in an aged body.
Hey all - thanks for reading and commenting.