Inner City

I went to Winnipeg's inner city (North End) with some youth the other day and it was an eye opener to see how much we take for granted only a short drive away. It wasn't so much what we saw, though we did see women standing on the corners, working track as they call it, and boarded up houses, it was the realization of the environment kids teens and parents live in. The system is so messed up and it seems so little one could do to change that. Kids steal cars for the experience because they don't think they'll ever get a drivers license because they don't know anyone who know how to drive, thus no one to teach them, even if that "them" was willing. Or Young adults who don't get jobs because they have grown up in a neighbourhood where they never watched their family or their neighbours go to work, it's just not normal. Now the inner city minister who was touring us around was sure to tell us there are a lot of people living there trying to make their life work in their environment, but it is very hard by the sounds of it. There was so much more that was interesting and informative. This taught me to reserve my judgments of why people are in their self destructing lives. I feel more compassion now.

Visit an inner city where you are if you have a chance, it will help you better understand the people that live there.

The presence of God

This day has been a wonderful day. It's not about what I did but it's about the feeling in this day, it's about God in this day. Maybe it started yesterday or the day before but I feel it for sure today. I feel so at peace with God, so full and full filled. It's like I am in the most perfect spot in my life, I am at the look out on a long hike and I can see a breathtaking view. I actually feel so good it is almost overwhelming, like I am not sure I can stand it for too much longer. Maybe it is the spiritual residue from the Tuesday evening "Encourage to Freedom", all those people who prayed for the evening and who are still praying for it's effect in women's lives. Maybe it's the feeling of doing the will of God (As i really know I did His will by sharing the other night). This feeling is the presence of God, I want to keep it and never take it for granted. I am in awe of God! In utter awe of His miraculous ways! In awe of His grace to allow me to have this beautiful day.
This is the day that the Lord has made!

Ecourage to Freedom

I have been reading my friend Niki's blog and I have been blessed by her honesty and willingness to share her secrets. Her hard to share honesty is something to aspire to. It really is refreshing to hear/read the honesty in ones heart. When we recently chatted about the topic of sharing our secrets, we discussed how sharing secrets isn't for everyone on the same level but yet it seems we are asked by God to be real and transparent. We concluded that each should share as the Spirit leads them to. So what do you do if you sense God asking you to tell a large group of women your "bad and ugly" past? You say "Yes" of course..... and then ...eeeekkk
Last winter the Spirit sorta nudged me to start thinking about helping other women know what it means to not live in secret and to encourage women to tell their secrets to help themselves and others experience freedom. At that time I had no idea what this was going to look like but I knew part of it meant sharing my story of becoming free. I kept the idea smoldering and this November the date has arrived. November 18 at the church will be an evening called Encourage to Freedom. I will share my freedom story and a challenge.
I guess at some point I'll have to share that story here but not until the time the spirit leads me to.
Women - keep that date open and I hope to see you out.

Can Pinky Come Alive?

The other morning as one of my daughters and I were getting our breakfast, I was casually informed by her, "Last night I asked God if Pinky could come alive." Then she said "I don't think he will do it but I know he can." Pinky is a giant stuffed pink bear. It is amazing to observe the faith of a child. She knows she can talk to God about anything, ask Him for anything and if He says "no" that it makes no difference He is still God of all things. She increases my faith. No wonder Jesus tells us to become like little children. I want to be like a child?

Inked outline photos

I thought today I would post some photos of my dear daughters, I tweaked them with photo shop, kinda thought they looked cool in the inked outline. It reminded me of, and got me thinking about painting again.

We are not easily broken

Jeremiah 19:10-11

"Then break the jar while those who go with you are watching, and say to them, 'This is what the LORD Almighty says: I will smash this nation and this city just as this potter's jar is smashed and cannot be repaired."

Ben and Jeff's sermon this Sunday highlighted a smashed vessel, our brokenness, Like Jeremiah says when we do not turn from our sin God will get our attention in other ways because he loves us that much. Interestingly during the illustration on Sunday the first time that Jeff through down the pot to smash it, it was not broken. The hard, dried and baked clay vessel resisted the brokenness only to be picked up again and smashed into hundreds of pieces. Wondering if any one else sees a message in that? ....
Someone said to me today, "We are not easily broken." This is very true, we resist it, who wants to be smashed into hundreds of pieces. Yet who doesn't want to be a legitimate child of God?
Hebrews 12:6

"The Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

If we are true children of God we are loved and thus also disciplined if we have unconfessed sin. Brokenness isn't really our choice in the end anyway, though we resist, he still has the power to go beyond us and break us, as in the case of the fateful pots this past Sunday. Our choice is not if we will be broken but how will we respond to brokenness.
Brokenness is painful, yet it is the way to freedom.

Emotional

So it's been a few months since I blogged and it's been on my mind to blog for a while but I really wasn't knowing what to write. Well today I have something.
Emotional - It has been happening in prayer lately or when I start to talk about God with someone, I start to feel emotional, even at just hearing his name. It is almost like I can feel the Spirit in the room and then like my senses converge and don't know what to do so I feel the urge to cry or like this morning I just flat out bawl my eyes out. I knew that was coming for a while because in a way I had been holding out on letting it all out, or was that letting it all in. I suppose it was both. So much has been going on in our church theses days, to put it mildly and I realize the task of faithfully serving and loving our church has never been more pressing, than at this time. Which means I need to be spending a lot more time flat out before God. and at times that just seems overwhelming.
There is so much more I could say about letting it all out and letting it all in but it's late and I'm going to bed.

I have no challenge today but to myself - Pray!

Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org

My love

I am not the mushy type and my mom has often gott'n on my case(in a kindly way) for not being romantic enough. LOL I suppose back in the dating days, with Ben, I was a little more romantic, writing poetry and sending love notes and all. Well, nowadays the love notes are few and far between, But my oh my do i love him;) LOL (Hi Honey) and I say it to him at least once a day. Anyway, from then to now and after all our years together, What is love? I had a friend say to me "I just don't know what love is anymore." and it got me thinking. I know love in so many ways in my life. What Ben and I started out on, in fact what we all started out on when we met our Significant other, was a passion and feeling we called love. It came so naturally in the beginning and then after the love note/mushy stage, the work began. Love became a choice. So What is love? Love is a feeling and a choice.... yeah that choice to love has not always been easy for me, been a few bumps in our marriage, but as I write this I have a trickle of Joy in my eye, to say I love my Love so much.(now i am getting mushy) We pushed through some hard times. I wonder how I possibly deserve this wonderful love in my life, Ben is so good to me, a wonderful husband.
For you and me, when hard times come and when the feeling of love is in rare supply we have to choose to love. The truth is, to make it through the hard times we don't even have the strength on our own, we need God. We need God right from the beginning because the real-back-to-the-basics answer to the question "What is love?", is - God is Love. And if or when we separate ourselves from God by not walking with him, we separate ourselves from knowing love and then it becomes harder and harder to choose to love our spouse. I know that is how it happens for me, in all my relationships, when I don't walk with Love(God), it becomes difficult to walk in love. So my challenge to you is to, first, keep connected to the source of love,God, and don't forget it! Then love the one God gave you and none other, tell them how much you love them and act on it. And third, keep choosing to love even when it's hard.
For me, I praise God as I close this entry because He is the one to credit for my wonderful life, my wonderful Love.
One last note - I Love you Ben!

Will God really have a word of direction for me?

God thrills me. He is so so amazing....
When I am agonizing over an issue and my heart is breaking and I begin to think and mull over the issue. Maybe you too are like this, you know you need to go to God, but you delay, at least I do, it's almost like I fight it. Then eventually as if I've exhausted all other avenues of help, I do it. What the reason is I do not know because I know my God is more in love with me than I can imagine and he wants to help me. (And that is true for you too) so I Go to God in prayer and to his words. But there is a thought in the back of my mind "Will it really help?" I open the bible to the place I last left off which sometimes seems more random than planned... will God really have a word of direction for me? I do this yet I know I have a very close connection to God, You too may feel it, but yet we all seem to have this innate nature, our sin nature I guess, that wants to go it alone. This morning I was like this and then I read the words I needed from scripture. He is truly amazing for his words are living and active, sharper than any double edge sword it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. and nothing in all creation is hidden from God he knows everything in us. (Hebrews 4:12-13) Which is also some scripture that God showed me this morning. I am not telling you these things ever to bring glory to myself but to God and actually to get you, yes you, to go to God, the living and active God who knows everything anyways. Like I said I struggle to get there too but once you go to Him he has a word of truth to speak into your heartache, illness, broken relationship, confusion, anger, daily grind. don't delay because here is the words I was given from God today
Hebrews 3:12-14 " See to it brothers(and sisters), that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. but encourage one another daily as long as it is called today. so that none of you may be hardened by sins deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first."
Today if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts.
It may not be daily but these words from God plus the agonizing issue I am dealing with right now only drives me more to share this hear.
The answer to the blog title: YES!

Everything Must Change

As I mentioned in my last blog post I was working on finishing this book by Brian McLaren, Everything Must Change. I finished today. Some quotes from the book.

Today, for the first time, I see what Jesus meant by the kingdom of God. I see that it's about changing this world, not just escaping it and retreating into our churches. If Jesus' message of the kingdom of God is true, then everything must change.

This is our call to action, our invitation to move mountains and to reshape the social and spiritual landscape of our world. Yes, change is impossible through human efforts alone. But faith brings God's creative power into our global crises, so the impossible first becomes possible and then inevitable for those who believe

It was a challenging read but worth it and so glad to have finished it, now I have to start seeing how I can live it's message...the hardest part.

26.2 Finisher

I don't finish things.
I'll start books, sewing projects, crafts, gardening and yard improvements or learn an instrument(organ, guitar, pan flute and penny whistler, I started them all). I'll start thinking great plans of how to do ministry better, parent better, disciple, save the planet, the list goes on but I often don't finish what I start. When I was a kid I took organ lessons but I never disciplined myself to practice so my organ teacher told my mom if I didn't practice I wasn't allowed to continue with lessons. I dropped out! I am 3 classes short of my bachelors of Christian studies! So many things I have not finished in life, and that is all behind me because I have a fresh start, I have something I have finished, something big.
5 months and approximately 350 miles of training completed, I disciplined myself and worked so hard to get to race day. This past Sunday I joined 13000 other people all in different races, and I was one of the 800(or so) who ran the full marathon. 26.2 miles completed! It felt so amazing to complete such a huge accomplishment. When I ran the 1/2 marathon 2 years ago it was about my marriage. I know that sounds funny but it was a lesson to me that even though it is hard and sometimes you think you can't go any farther, you can and I did and I completed that race(and my marriage is the best on the whole planet). But this race was about being able to accomplish anything. I believe that if i can set my mind and disciple myself to run a full marathon, I can accomplish anything, especially finishing a book:) It's a powerful feeling. If it is worth finishing I want to finish it. It was also about full filling hopes and dreams, you know that list you have, it might only be a mental list but some people write it out. It's a list of things you want to do in your life, well running a full marathon has been on my list for 8 years and it feels so great to have something I hoped for so long ago actually accomplished. One more thing as I crossed the finish line I was donned with a finisher metal and a t-shirt that boldly says 26.2 FINISHER across it. I'm a finisher.
So now I can say...
I finish things.
(now I am off to read the last few chapters of "Everything Must Change" by Brian McClarin which I start in January:)

4 kitties and an evening of perfect weather

Last Wednesday at breakfast Ariel told me that she had been listening to Jesus and when she had asked him when our stray cat would have babies(she was pregnant at the time) he said Friday. She then said that "Daddy always says that when I hear from God I should tell him. and if I don't know if it was just me or really God then he can help me know.... so was that God or just me?" she asks. I'm firstly amazed/excited that she has been communicating with God like that and then to answer her question I am wanting to say God but I don't know either so I tell her that we'll have to wait and see on Friday. Then as we are talking Ariel challenges me to ask God if it will rain on Friday or not because at that time I was wondering about the weather for the African Children's Choir that was planned for out doors. So I paused for a moment and to do that, I sensed God telling me that it will all be fine no matter the weather and after that I never worried once about the weather. When Friday came I had, what i can only explain as, a Spirit directed confidence to keep the concert out doors even though the forecast said rain and thunder storms. The Concert had perfect weather, really amazing. Then when we got home from the concert we all went looking for Milkshake the stray cat. and sure enough we found her under the stairs with 4 brand new baby kitties. I looked at Ariel, and I could tell she knew what this meant but I asked her anyway, "Do you remember what God told you?" she said "Yes". We have all been thrilled with God's reality this past weekend.... God still speaks.

Habits

So what Habit have you chosen? The sermons at church lately have been challenging us to make good habits for God. I chose study. When you see me ask me how I'm doing...keep me accountable. I want to study a few topics but I am going to let them be born out of the daily reading I do so when I come to a point of interest, that the spirit will point out, I will let that be what i study. Last week I took some time to study trust. Not sure how it came up I just did. Here are some points form the study.
-God cares for those who trust in him.
-We need to trust in God not our own securities.
-God is trust worthy.
-A person can not trust in money and God.
Oh and I learned one other thing about myself, I need to get more familiar with the minor prophets again. I couldn't find Nahum and in fact I was doubting it's existence as a book, as I looked for it. eekk LOL.
So that is where I have taken the sermon challenge. How about you? What new habit, Good Habit, are you applying to your life?
If you didn't hear the sermons you can listen to them atin the message library. and the series goes until the end of June.

The Light vs darkness Cont.

I can only imagine you all think I've gone off the deepend or something, being so down right depressing. If you know me at all, you'll know I see the positive side of life, but not always I guess. I have had a few weeks of interesting questions for God and doubts and seeing more darkness than light it feels.... I am not sure how to explain it, I do feel like I am on the up swing though. The positive me is coming back. God and I have had some "chats", I've wrestled it out with him. Not that I have it all together now but feeling more confident... hard to explain..... One thing I want you to know is that when you doubt and when you feel more darkness than light you are not alone. I mean that in 2 ways, you're not alone because I can personally say I relate and you're not alone because God cares about you and he is walking through it with you leading you toward the light again. We just need to open our minds to hear what he is telling us.
Now any stories? Share a story about the Light overcoming the darkness.

The Light vs Darkness

Sometimes it seems that darkness is overcoming the light and I begin to doubt that the light of the world is more powerful, more intense than the darkness, the enemy, of life. If you have a story to lighten the day with how The Light has poured into you please tell me I need to know that God is at work.

African Children's Choir

I hope you will come to the Concert
May 30th 7:30 at the Altona Centennial Park. And if it rains the concert is at the Altona EMM Church.

Not the Answer I expected

It's one of those things I like to do, ask questions. I have mentioned before how "why" is a question I love to ask. so with that in mind..... As I was reading in Deuteronomy the other day, I saw the "confusing" and "ununifiedness" of the old testament and the new testament God, or at least in his laws and expectations. I've noticed this before but this time I wanted answers. How can our God command the fighting he does in the OT when Jesus commands us to live peacefully? And they are one. There are many things like this that confuse me. How does this work and why does it happen? Well after reading this particular day I turned to God for an answer because He in fact does have the answer. Well the answer I got was not what i expected and came to me about like this "I didn't come to you to give you answers but that my Glory might be displayed." Well I love God so much and Jesus is my friend, I don't care what inconsistencies I seem to find in Him. The experience I have in knowing Him and being with Him far our weigh the need for answers and the doubt the I sometimes find. I will still ask the questions even when I don't find the answer I am looking for because honestly the answer he gave really brings back to perspective the heart of it. That is what I needed to hear.
Jesus prayed "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." John 17:24
Challenge - Ask God the questions you have and listen to his answers you will be blessed.

Pangea Day

This is going to be a very powerful day i think I am not going to miss it and if you know about it too you might not want to miss it either.
see what it is about here

Deliverance and Healing

Deliverance and healing... What is the difference between the two? Have you experienced either one? Do they both happen together? Just some thoughts to ponder if you care to engage.

Obsession

Maybe only Ben and my mom know this about me but now you all know it too. I get obsessed. It only takes a small idea or thought about something; a trigger goes in my brain and BAM! I can't stop thinking about that idea or plan or project or person. It happens very quickly and then I drop it just as quickly as I picked it up. Some funny obsessions I've had, the time I wanted to be a goat farmer or sew clown dolls for a living or redecorate my office into a African straw hut. yeah those are the things I've never actually been able to get to but there are other things I go in and out of obsession over, sewing projects, scrapbooking, global issues, music, computer games stuff like that. When I am in one of these "obsessions" as I am calling them I don't think about a lot else and a lot of the regular day to day things I should do get left undone. I mean I really devote myself to the obsession. Whether or not these obsessions are good for me or not I don't know.... I guess too much of anything can be a bad thing.... but there is one thing I know is great to be obsessed over and that is GOD... I want to be obsessed about God, More of him and less of me.
So this is my thought and challenge for this week - Become obsessed with God.

someone wake me up!

I really want to keep this blog rolling and I am not sure why but it challenges me to think about what is happening in my life and reflect. Really it is for myself I guess and if someone else is able to be challenged and reflect as a result then God be praised. So here I am awaking after a long night of rest....

The spirit has been moving around in me rearranging furniture. I feel a tad violated but yet I know this is what i want... at least I think so. We can't go with God and stay where we are.( so says Blackaby) That is what I am learning from the Bible study I'm in. Going with God's plan is going to cost. I guess the question remains am I really going to pay up when the collector comes. and then I love the quote I read by David Livingston "Forbid that we should ever consider the commissioning of the King of Kings a sacrifice, so long as other men esteem the service of an earthly government an honor."
What kind of cost would I consider so costly to serve my King, in light of the sacrifice he is for me and the privilege he offers me in serving him?

Nothing

well I guess I don't need to tell you that nothing has been coming down the street lately. I just wanted to let you know I will come back to writing some time when I feel like I have something to say I guess with this cold winter my brain has frozen too.
God bless.

The 2007 winner

The winning Photo was July --Freedom

I named it "Freedom" because to me the girls seem to be so free to be themselves, to not worry about anything, just free to be free.

There was actually a whole series of photos in that group it was hard to choose which one to place as the representative.
Here's the page I'm going to put in my scrapbook.


Thanks for voting

2007 Photo of the year Contest

Every year I invite all my friends and family, just for fun, to choose form 12 photos of our girls, one for each month. You get to vote for your favorite one. There really are so many I could have posted but I chose ones I thought were interesting.

so here are the photos for the 4th annual photo contest

January - Frosty's Angels

February - Sugar High

March - Pool Party

April - Champion

May - In the Palm of my hand

June - Summer has Begun

July - Freedom

August - Love ya

September - Dreaming

October - She's got the look

November - Light up the Night

December - Me and the Cedar


How to vote
-click on the word comment
-comment on the picture you vote for, if you don't have a blog account then write your name or nick name as part of your comment. Then click anonymous.
- finally click publish your comment
sometimes it doesn't work the first time but try again and it should go through.