Friday, October 13, 2006

less myself

Ok people - I have a problem and I am trying to correct it. Problem - I am selfish. I am sure all of you have solved this issue in your lives so please give me some tips..... eekkk I can't stand myself sometimes. Don't you just hate that, when ya lay down at night, in the quiet of your head you replay the day and low and behold you see yourself .... as you are. The other night that was me, I saw myself, n a k e d and ugly, selfish and without an excuse.(Not really n a k e d just figuratively) The day had gone something like this- A particularity selfish day- 8am -12 noon me time, serve lunch quick, 1:00 -3:30 me me me, serve after school snack, and so went the day until I lay down my sweet head(give or take a few details). I had barely given the time of day to my precious little ones, my children. The painful part was that I don't think they noticed, think of that... They have come to expect very little of me.(this is getting very personal) (why does God make me share this?) Yes, "their used to it" reveals the fact that this is not just a one day problem, it's kinda been going on for a while, maybe it's not every day and maybe I am being too hard on myself but that night I really confessed to God and I asked Him to help me be different, to be a better mom... now for the good news... He is helping me! Seriously it is going so much better and I feel so much better about myself now that I am less myself(a work in progress) My kids just thrill me I can't image why I wouldn't want to thrill them more. SO the selfish problem isn't over but I feel like I have taken a step this week. Thanks God.

Just had a humorous thought - Who would write a blog about themself and expect others to voluntarily read it unless they had self inflated issues? ***raising hand***trying to force it down***

My friends I sure hope I'm here for more than just myself.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i hear ya ...I have a long way to go thanks for being open and honest.
although you are probably being hard on yourself. it is good to look at ourselves and do a check
keep plugging along. We are a work in progress...sometimes I wish it was a little faster!
victory!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey - that's not fair. That's MY problem. How dare you claim it as your own. That problem is MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

Hmm. Better go check on the kid. He's been dumped in his room to play trains while I surf the Internet....

- a somewhat familiar voice from afar

Sister C said...

Thanks for relating. I have really found help in God here...for now.